True Life | Bears, Chubby Chasers, & Fat Fetishism

I always make sure that I never miss an episode of MTV’s True Life. I actually have my DVR set to record old & new episodes just so I don’t miss anything. True Life always has some very interesting topics they cover, and it’s nice to get a glimpse into someone’s lifestyle.

Every episode usually covers an interesting topic, but last night was a new episode that followed two men who are self-proclaimed chubby chasers. Pause. Really? Like when I first read the description I was taken aback. I’ve heard of how popular the Bear community is, but I was a little caught off guard by this Black guy from Harlem who only dates overweight women because they tend to be nicer & have less drama. Wow, how ignorant can you be?

I guess the best place to start in addressing last night’s episode is to discuss what bears are. Basically in the gay community there is a sub-culture of chasers (typically skinny men) who chase after bears (overweight men with body hair) The chasers prefer to be with a bear because they feel protected, but the bigger the guy is weight wise, the more turned on the men get. So when you hear “bigger is better” in the bear community, they are referring to mass & overall weight.

It wasn’t my first time hearing about bears, but I couldn’t believe that the guy actually didn’t want his boyfriend to lose weight, even if it meant a variety of health problems. He was actually a little disappointed that his boyfriend would have to lose weight and couldn’t remain as heavy as he was. But in the end he realized that his health was more important, so he could lose a little weight but still needed to be heavy. The heavier he was and the bigger his belly turned him on. Um….yeah….weird….

I guess everyone has their preferences, but why would you want to date someone that big who is risking their health? I’ve never in my life dated someone that was obese. I couldn’t date someone who didn’t work out and take care of themselves; might as well walk away, because I’m just not down for an unhealthy lifestyle. I work out 5 to 6 days a week, I monitor what I eat, and I always make sure I’m active. If I’m not at the gym running, then I’m on my $200 spin bike in my room sweating up a storm. Staying active is a passion of mine, and I’m not even where I want to be yet. Still got a lot more hardcore cardio to do.

There is a difference between being chubby & overweight. Chubby is just like a little fat here & there, but overweight/obese is like a serious issue that has many health risks. Yet there are folks out there who date people just because of their size, kind of like the other guy profiled on last night’s episode. I mentioned him earlier in this post. Basically he’s this Black guy from Harlem who prefers dating overweight & big girls because they don’t come with drama, they are nice, and he finds them sexy. That’s just ignorant stereotyping. Not all big girls are nice & come without drama. Some big girls can be fake & bitches just like skinny chicks.

But I guess he did find that out on last night’s episode with this big girl (she was not cute at all & her voice irritated the hell out of me, so dumb & ditzy) named Ashley he was dating. She did porn in order to pay her bills and was preaching how she was independent & crap. Oh, shut up! They got into an argument, she slapped him a few times, and then walked off. The guy flew back to New York (she lived in Los Angeles) and decided not to talk to Ashley again, but still only date big girls. Wow, can you say low self-esteem? Dating big girls just to make yourself feel better.

Sadly enough I’ve met a few losers that prefer dating overweight & “big girls” because they come with less drama, they know how to treat a man, and they know how to cook. I’m serious, guys have actually told me this. They have this fat fetish for women that are fat. Not only is it a stereotypical approach involved, but they also are extremely turned on by fat women. It’s a fat fetishism.Some guys didn’t want to date me because I wasn’t big (thank God I’m average with curves,) but I’m glad they didn’t want to date me. I couldn’t date a man that ignorant to prey on big women just because of a stereotype he has.  I especially couldn’t date a feeder. Ewww. Guys that just constantly want you to eat & get bigger (yeah, some sick dudes out there.)Date someone for what you learn about them, not because they are big so right off the back you assume certain things about their character.

Chubby chasers & the bear community are just very interesting. I don’t think the bear community necessarily has to deal with a stereotype of what a big man can do for them, but rather it’s just a sexual preference.  Somehow they get really turned on by all that body fat. But as far as men, like the guy on True Life, they date big women because their internal insecurity and these ignorant stereotypes they have of big women. That’s just a hot mess. And the sad thing is I know a few guys like that, but that also explains why I don’t talk to them that much. It’s just sad how they chase these big women only based on a stereotype. SMH….get some balls and a self-esteem, maybe then you could actually learn how to relate to women and not prey on girls that might also have low self-esteem issues.

If you want to know more about this True Life episode & fat fetishism, then feel free to go watch the entire episode on MTV’s website. Click here.

©Jasmine McGee.ThinkSoul25. http://thinksoul25.com

3 thoughts on “True Life | Bears, Chubby Chasers, & Fat Fetishism

  1. I’m a “bear” I guess (actually a “cub” due to my youngish age … 24). I also like other “bears.” I prefer muscles / bulk, facial hair, body hair, and “masculinity” … but I don’t see too much “bigger is better.” There is some of that in bear circles, sure, but once you get into the real flab your usually talking “chub.” The ideal “bear” seems to be, if you like bigger, more of a power lifter build (muscular, stocky) than a standard over-eating couch potato (lots of fat, no muscle or support). But whatever. It’s a big tent, with lots of different people and tastes. If some 120lb guy with no body or facial hair wants to call himself a bear, go for it. Same with the 300lb+ guy that never lifts.

    PS: I don’t actually know, but im guessing some of liking big girls “because they don’t have drama” thing might be more of an excuse. It’s very hard in this culture to admit a physical attraction to people outside of the normal media and culture endorsed ideal. It’s for some reason (and I have theories for that, but that’s for a different time) to assert some sort of psychological or situational advantage is instead actually at play (and not that you prefer them, say, ‘big,’ simply because you find that physical characteristic in itself attractive).

    1. Thank you for your comment! Interesting commentary, it’s surely appreciated. I definitely think people are often ashamed of admitting who they like when it goes against the societal standard of what is “attractive.” I think it’s good for people to be comfortable in their own skin and not be ashamed to admit what they like. Props to you for being confident in who you are and knowing what you like. 🙂

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