Tag Archives: sex in exchange for luxury

SMH|The Sugar Baby Generation

Last night I took a break from working on my proposal for technical writing and indulged in a new episode of True Life. For years I’ve been watching MTV’s True Life, mainly because it’s one of the few good shows they actually have. I enjoy seeing the dilemmas that people are facing and also having a sneak peak into various lifestyles. The episode that aired last night was a show that explored the concept of “sugar babies” and “sugar daddies.”

The concept of older men (older women as well) dating someone younger and showering them with gifts, is a phenomenon that has been around most likely since the early days of mankind. Instead of searching for a genuine relationship, many sugar daddies and mommies will get some young love interest and flaunt their money. In return, they usually get some type of sexual satisfaction. Most sugar daddy and sugar baby relationships function off the principle of “give and get.” If a man is showering you with tons of expensive gifts, paying your rent, and essentially taking care of you; then you better believe he’s going to what something more than a hug and kiss on the cheek.

There is nothing wrong with dating a seasoned man, but many women chicks nowadays have the ambition to be a sugar baby. The episode of True Life followed these two pathetic women chasing after a potential sugar daddy. The men had been buying them gifts and taking them to fancy venues, but the women weren’t willing to give anything back in return. Both of the women basically wanted to use the men for all their money and label it as a “friendship with no benefits.”

One of the sugar daddies told the sugar baby that he was no chump. He wasn’t going to sit around and keep taking care of her, until she did her part and took “care” of him. I’m completely against this entire sugar daddy and sugar baby concept, but the man had a point. You can’t just sit around and expect a baller to keep taking care of you, and then you don’t give him anything in return except a measly kiss on the lip and a long embrace. That doesn’t cut it in the sugar daddy playbook. If he’s giving, then you better believe he’s going to want you to give as well…a trip to the bedroom.

I’m not going to knock the principle of giving and getting something in return, but having the ambition to be a sugar baby is entirely absurd in my book. The chicks on True Life had the opportunity to go to school and do something with their life, yet they preferred to have a man take care of everything. They believed “Why work, when a sugar daddy can take care of me?” You’ve got to be kidding me! That is such a weak and unattractive trait in a woman and in a man as well. There was a guy on the episode who worked 40 hours a week as a software programmer, but he was on the search to have an older woman take care of him. This dude looked disgusting! He thought he was the hot stuff, but sweetie, cougars aren’t blind. Cougars may be a “woman of a certain age” but they tend to look for the hot guys that younger women find attractive as well.

In the end, all three of the sugar babies ended up without sugar parents. One of the chicks was actually encouraged by her mom to go find another sugar daddy. For years she had been dating sugar daddies and then giving mother to her mom, which is why her mom had moved into a new house. The previous sugar daddy had paid for her mom’s new house, but since her daughter no longer had a sugar daddy; her mom was terrified of losing her home and demanded more money from her daughter. WTF? What kind of mother does that? She didn’t even care that her daughter was upset and tired of sugar daddies wanting sex from her, she just wanted the money and a basic friendship. Of course, her greedy mother insisted she go find another sugar daddy and get some more money.

It’s sad that we live in such a gold digging and sugar baby society, even some triflin parent’s encourage it. There shouldn’t be this lingering ambition amongst young women to seek a man that is a bank account and not a genuine romantic interest. I don’t have an issue with a man taking care of a woman, especially they are married or in a serious relationship, but the issue is when you bring gold digging agenda’s into the equation. A woman should have her own career/goals/dreams/ambitions that aren’t based upon whether a man is present or not.

I understand that love may not always pay the rent, but if you have your own career/profession, then the bills are more likely to be handled on time. If you’ve got your own job, own career, and your own money, then their is nothing wrong with wanting to date a man that is on your level. Personally, I’m focusing on myself and building up my career before I get married. I don’t want to be a chick that marries a man and have no career of my own, which gives me the excuse to make my entire life about that man and view him as my personal bank.

When I’m ready to approach a serious relationship, with the possibility of marriage down the line, I’ll have my own career and money. I also expect the man I’m with to be educated and hardworking, a man that has the ambition to be anything he wants and is on the path to something great. From that point we can build together. A relationship is basically a collective effort, so both parties must bring something to the table.Don’t go around looking for a man to take care of everything for you and you plan on sitting around like the chicks in the music videos.

Get up off your butt and do something with your life. Be independent and be dependent when the time is right, but still have a life and career of your own. You can still be a housewife that runs her own business, takes care of the kids, and have a man by your side that takes care of the house and buys you nice things…because he wants to, not because has to.

Moné – Love Don’t Pay The Rent (Scott Wozniak Remix)

©Jasmine McGee