In moments of dire frustration with my current circumstances, I found myself craving an ounce (or even a pound) of stimulating conversation fueled by riveting unparalleled imagination. I’m not expecting anything of epic proportions (although that would make my day,) but when it comes to dating and interacting with men, I’d at least hope they’d be able to stimulate me, not just physically, but on a mental/personality level.
That doesn’t appear to be an outlandish request. Yet, as of late, with the exception of a select few, most of the men I’ve been encountering are so numb conversation wise. In the fashion of a robot, every word they seem to say it just another antiquated calculated response usually along the lines of an illusive “cool.” Which you’d hope could hold a deeper meaning, but it’s really just “cool, I don’t care about asking you a follow-up question.”
Follow-up questions don’t have to be the lines of a soap-opera or a masterpiece play, but I’d at least love to feel that our conversation is engaging. But oh no, it’s too much “work” to take a few seconds to create an orb of communication that is original, innovative, and shows that you at least give a damn what I’m saying. And when you don’t engage or seem to have life, then quite frankly, you’re beginning to bore me to death…or damn near close to it!
I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a lot to handle. By no means am I the demanding woman that you have to wine and dine with the finer things of life; not my style. However, in order for a man to captivate me and actually give him the time of day, he has to hold my interest personality wise. Make me laugh, make me laugh so hard to the point in which my cute little giggle turns into a snort (yes, that happens on occasion.) Prick my senses with witty sarcasm and dark humour; truly, I don’t mind. And if the only music you like to listen to and talk about is commercial hip-hop, then don’t even think you’ll actually score a first date with me. As much as I love music (not just house, but many genres,) I get bored super quick when someone has a limited passion (or desire to explore) for a diverse selection of music.
Don’t get me wrong, I love dating, I love exploring the different types of personalities of men out there, but I’m really getting sick of being bored. It’s like they aren’t even trying anymore! Apparently showering me with recycled compliments, faulty promises, and temporary chivalry (until they hit and quit,) is the motivation of most of these men I encounter.
Oh, and in Los Angeles it was an atrocity. Each guy I met while living in LA (I’m now back in Greater Washington, DC metropolitan,) were wannabe players that wished they could get the model chicks and busty starlets, but they didn’t have the money nor the looks to be on that level. Yet, they stepped to me with the same cocky attitude, recycled game, and the motivation for doing one thing; hitting it and quitting it.
I can’t tell you how many times I met a guy and within the first conversation (online and in person,) he started not hinting, but blatantly talking about the things he wanted to do with me and how getting to know me involved hooking up…right away. WOW, unbelievable! And not only was it hard to believe, but the conversation became so repetitive and boring. Over and over again I was approached with the same tactics, and now I’m at the point where talking about sex and flirting is just boring.
Alright, I take that back…slightly. Talking about sex and flirting isn’t boring, but it has to be done with someone that actually likes me, knows me, and we’ve reached that level. Right off the back isn’t “reaching that level and getting to know me.” No, no, no. That isn’t how it’s done; not in my book!
If you want to truly get to know me, excitement on exhilarating epic levels, and blow my mind, then engage me with personality, culture (if you love house music, my heart is yours,) and humour. I’ll never be bored with that momentum of raw creative thoughts flowing in the conversation, and in the end you’ll probably have a better chance of getting close to me….