I’m not really big on celebrity gossip, but I will say I wasn’t at all shocked at Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries getting divorced. I never really paid to much attention to her, mainly because I feel like she just capitalizes off her looks and dating athletes. It’s not like I’m a big hater of woman who does that, but it’s the mindset of chasing after “ballers” that annoys me.
I’ve met a lot of young women that just have such high ambitions of getting this guy who is totally swag literate and an impressive catch, but then they pass up some of the good men who may not be flashy, swagged up, or perhaps a hotshot athlete or distinguished lawyer or doctor. Not to say that all athletes or guys in medical and law fields are ballers, but it’s the perceptions that some women have of those men. I’ve personally had a few opportunities to date professional athletes, including a player from the Denver Broncos. But just the entire idea of them being on this hierarchy because they are an athlete and all the ladies love them just turns me off.
Guys that are just so obsessed with their looks, their ego, and bragging about their career tend be the guys that I get bored with. With the quickness, I’m just so over them. It’s like I don’t want to sit and talk about your looks or the sport you play all day, let alone sit and talk about material items that you can buy for me. They aren’t bad men by any means, it’s just that they don’t impress me. I’m the type of person that has this super serious side, but a majority of the time I’m not caught up on being that flawless diva. I’ve gone out on dates with guys in law school, med school, doctors, professional athletes, and so many other career aspirations, but some of these men just seem to capitalize on their career and not try to let their personality speak for itself. Even if I had a different career path, I’d still be the same person on a personality level. I wouldn’t try to impress someone based off my education or my career title, but instead let them discover the beautiful parts of my personality that mold me into the woman I am.
I have such an explosive personality that is driven by the arts, technology, and just being geeky chic. I used to apologize for being really silly, outlandish, creative, geeky, and passionate about certain topics. I had met so many different men that seemed “perfect” on paper according to the guidelines and lists that I used to have. You know the lists: educated, great career, tall, no kids, spiritual, well spoken, and culturally diverse. Those are some of the items that were on my lists and I had met men that totally met all those criteria and much more, but they just bored the hell out of me with their demeanor. It’s like they are so refined and distinguished, even have a classy style that is GQ worthy, but their personality didn’t mesh well with mine.
I used to hold back on being the woman I was during middle school and high school, but after being in college for the past 4 years I realized that all I can do is my true self. I’m not ashamed to admit I’m really silly, I’d rather play PS3 for hours instead of shopping and getting my nails done, and I think being passionate and wild about the arts is more important than trying to maintain this flawless image of a woman that is superior in education, classy and refined, and a “trophy wife.” I’ll admit that I used to only want a man that was well educated, but I’ve realized that’s not everything. I know guys who graduated magna cum laude from Cornell and other ivy league schools, but their entire attitude turns me off. Some of them have even told me that I was too much of a free-spirit. Can you believe that?! I’ve actually had some men that are so proper and classy tell me I’m “too wild” and confident for them. They express how they love my curvy body, my face, my eyes, and even touching and playing in my hair, but I’m just not the girl that fits that “image” they prefer.
I do believe that there is someone for everyone. In someone else eyes these guys are totally amazing catches. There is somebody for everyone, and in a real mature way, some people are meant to be together and some aren’t. So I’m saying this, so I don’t get any hate mail, that I’m not discounting the diversity of men that we need to have in our society. For myself, however, what has not been working for me is dating this image of what I think the right guy for me is. At the end of the day, I’m an artsy geek. I need a guy that can keep calm and love a nerd. A guy that doesn’t mind me sometimes slipping into a Spongebob voice, or reciting all the lyrics from that Dayman/Nightman song in the Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode of “The Nightman Cometh.” A guy that can keep me laughing, and not be ashamed to join in on my silly antics. I need a dude that can play Call of Duty with me, while not trying to have a serious conversation. Seriously, I hate having long conversations while playing videogames, I’m just so in the zone with pwnage.
Dude, sometimes I just want to chill out and daydream about having superhero powers. I don’t want to sit their and get a blank stare from a guy. I’d prefer if he was geeky too and could so totally talk to me about the powers he’d love to have. Then we’d sit down and discuss the flaws in movies based off comic books, while probably jamming out to some house, dance, pop, d&B, and other genres of music; it’d be nice if he could accept my guilty pleasure of 80s rock songs and love ballads. But of course we’d be able to have serious conversations on politics, religion, and society every now and then, but he’d be totally okay with just having a spontaneous energy for the arts, technology, and life!
It’s not like I’m sitting here saying I need a man right now, because I do enjoy being single. But I will admit that I’m tired of going on dates with guys that just fit this “perfect” image of being a educated baller and totally swag literate. Those dudes don’t usually mesh well with my personality, so I think it’s time for me to do what I do best; go back to dating the geeky and artsy guys who have great personalities. Some of them may be swag literate and have pretty awesome careers, and some of them may not. But why the hell should that matter? You shouldn’t base someone off their career or bank account, but instead base it off the type of personality and vibe they have. So guys that are artsy, geeky, nerdy, and just such a joy to be around make my life so much more fun. I never had to apologize for being a extremely funny artistic geek that doesn’t always say the “right” thing. At the end of the day when it’s all said and done, I want a man that knows how to just keep calm and love a nerd.
I swear, I’d love to date a guy like Donald Glover. There is something so hilarious and sexy about him. I especially love everything he raps about. He totally makes fun of that ego that must rappers have, but he’s actually a pretty awesome rapper! Freaks & Geeks is the best track from Childish Gambino.
©Jasmine McGee.ThinkSoul25. http://thinksoul25.com
I’m a huge fan of Childish Gambino aka Donald Glover, you know the geeky black guy who used to write for 30 Rock and is an actor on Community. I love his personality and his swag is geeky fresh. I heard the remix of his track “Freaks and Geeks” a few days ago on DC Mumbo Sauce and I had to go check out the official video by Childish Gambino. The remix was nice with it, but the Childish Gambino track is hilarious and dope. He really has some skills on the mic and I love how he makes fun of the typical rappers by trying to be so swagged out and hardcore, while coming up with silly rhymes that still go hard.
I been listening to a lot of hip-hop lately even though a few months ago I declared a sabbatical from hip-hop. I can’t help it! I write for hiphopextra.com and I just started writing for another hip-hop magazine. For some reason I’m good at what I do when it comes to writing about the art of lyricism infused with catchy beats. I doubt writing about hip-hop will ever become a full time job once I graduate, it doesn’t pay the bills but it’s valuable experience and more accolades to stack on my resume. Once I’m out of school in Spring I plan on getting a job in the DMV writing for the government or a non-profit organization, some sort of job I can do that pays excellent and allows me to still enjoy my weekends and blogging.
Writing about music is something I love with a passion and I don’t plan on ever quitting. There are so many good artists out there that bring something fresh to the table, which is why I’m digging Childish Gambino. His music is legit! Check out the track for “Freaks and Geeks” and enjoy the dope visuals from Mr. Donald Glover, simply a black geek with swag who loves to hang out with his N-words. Haha I love it when he says that on the track, like seriously who says I’m hanging out with my N-words? LOL….too funny!
Hey world, or perhaps the select few who continue to read my rants and revelations, how’s it going? I haven’t really been blogging much the past few days, just been in this mental space of figuring life out and analyzing my emotions.
For most of my life I’ve always chased after guys or had some type of male interaction, but for the first time I’m not trippin’ over my current situation. I’ve got to the point where I’m sick of entertaining and dealing with men that are just lame, they may look good, but their personality is so dull. Literally, I’d rather get inside of a Donkey Kong barrel and roll down a hill, while the barrel is on fire, instead of hanging with guys who are lifeless. That scenario may seem highly dangerous and it is true, my hair and body would probably catch on fire, but I’m just saying…some guys I meet are that dull and depressing and push me to seek high octane activities.
I’m thinking of taking up tennis lessons or rock climbing, at least it would give me a great cardio and strength workout. I have so many things I really want to accomplish and the hassle of a relationship turns me off. I’m not in the mood to call someone all the time, to worry about there whereabouts, to make sure I don’t flirt with a certain guy on my FB wall (I’m a flirt), and I’m not in the mood to waste time with a guy who doesn’t spark my interest.
It’s not like I don’t meet, in person, online, and through networking. Every week I’m engaging in some type of male connection, even if it’s the guy at the grocery store trying to make small talk (those moments always feel so forced). I don’t mind small talk but it’s frustrating when it feels forced, as if the person stood there glancing at me from a distance ,thinking of the right combination of words in order to grasp my attention. I’m not one for cliche lines and compliments that could have easily come from a Drake song. Those type of antics immediately turn me off, even if the guy is the finest specimen I’ve ever seen, I’m still turned off by the lack of originality.
Being single is a great mental state for me to be in right, especially considering the fact I just haven’t found what I’m looking for. I love men with a passion, especially different flavors and ambitions. I love men to an extent that I don’t even blog about, I could literally sit here and discuss men all day and my personal experiences, but I like to leave some things a mystery. To be honest I just haven’t found a guy worth me taking serious to the point of committing and seriously meaning it. But even though I’m not looking for a relationship, I still occasionally go on dates. I may not want something serious, but I do have some very close guy friends and I’m always open to more, depending on the personality. I can’t stand men that are nerdy and sarcastic, I just want to punch them in their boney arms. See, there is a difference between a nerd and a geek. A nerd will talk a whole bunch of stuff and be all sarcastic about solving a problem, but a geek will just touch basis on it and then solve the problem right then and there. Geeks are action oriented, nerds are more concerned about using as many words in the dictionary in order to explain the process of a virus scan.
I’ve never in my life been a nerd and nerdy men turn me off in a major way. Yes, I am slightly geeky but my dominant personality traits are artistic. But nerds can be so annoying and mean to me. It’s not the fact they may not have the best style or they may be super skinny, but it’s that nasty sarcastic attitude. I may be sarcastic but I don’t analyze every little thing people say and try to correct them. Can’t stand that! I also can’t stand men that really aren’t that impressive and I’m especially not sexually attracted to them, but they try to be so macho. They flaunt the clothes, the car they have in there name and not their mom’s, and then they brag about how much of intellect and classy they are. Dude, I don’t care about any of that crap you have, I got my own stuff and don’t need to be with a man because of his nice car and how classy he is.
Anyone who truly knows me, understands that I’m a renaissance woman. I thrive off the arts and culture, I don’t thrive off of materialistic expression. I care about the meanings behind a painting instead of it’s monetary value and I’m more concerned with how a car can impact the environment, rather then the cost of it. My passion in life surrounds the arts and I’d rather be single for a very long time then be with a guy who doesn’t understand the arts. If I say I’m working on a painting or want to see an art show, don’t just say “Oh, okay. That’s cool.” I hate those shallow responses that don’t hold any depth and don’t elaborate on my statement. At that point I just end the conversation with an excuse or say I’m not feeling it and walk away.
So I may not be able to find a guy who sparks my interest right now, so what? It’s not the end of the world being single, and the world didn’t end yesterday, so I’m sure I still have time to figure things out. I just wanted to get all this stuff out of my head and into a written format, so if you’re wondering how I’m feeling in life right now, well now you know. I’m single and not trippin’. I’m not looking for another lame and dull relationship with a guy who looks okay but lacks that height I’m attracted to or doesn’t have a sense of humor that meshes with mine. I’m artistic, raw, witty, passionate, aggressive, romantic, avant-garde, and I’m a single woman trying to graduate college and set up a life for myself. I still go on dates every now and then, meeting some cool guys who I’m still getting to know, but their is no rush. I’ve got a lot of time and the world hasn’t ended yet, so I’ve still got the time to maybe fall in love and seriously mean it.
*Since the world didn’t end yesterday, here is one of my favorite work out songs.*
Britney Spears: Till the World Ends