A few days ago I had an interesting conversation with a guy I had chatted back and forth with. We had been messaging back and forth for awhile, so then we finally decided to have a phone conversation. The conversation covered the usual topics( name, age, interests, etc,) but he took it upon himself to ask me “Are you looking for a relationship or are you looking for love?” I hadn’t had someone pose the question in that fashion, so I told him “I’m looking for love. Well not looking, but open to the idea of letting it happen.”
It’s hard to say that I’m looking for love, because I’m not really looking. Of course I put myself in a position to meet new men and embark on a journey of friendship, connections, and perhaps provocative flirting here and there. But I can’t say that I’m on a hunt for love. I don’t think love should be something that you have to hunt for and be on the lookout with an open eye, yet rather it should be a natural progression of bonding. I suppose that bounding takes place in the form of a relationship, but according to that guy a relationship and love are two different things.
You can fall in love with someone without being in a relationship (friends do it all the time) but I understood what he was trying to say. It’s one thing to have a relationship just for the sake of it, however a relationship can simply be a status, whereas love can be a life-changing emotion, an abstract expression, and a state of euphoria. I think we’ve all as human beings have had some point in our life where we were in a relationship just because. It’s not like we were hoping to fall in love. Things went day by day. Things were said and done, but they might not have meant a great deal. Young & Foolish.
I’ve had some good relationships but I don’t think I’ve been madly in true love. But I’m young and still on a journey. Some people find their true love right off the back, and others have a lot of soul searching to do. As I grow to love myself I grow closer to the possibility of meeting someone that I’d want to give my love to. Wait…but what exactly is love? It seems like such an antiquated question, yet it’s apparently quite relevant. People around the world are still trying to fulfill this internal desire to bond with one person emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I think that even though a lot of people might enjoy dating around and having various physical partners (that’s not my thing,) they may be intrinsically searching for that one to eventually settle down with (marriage, long term commitment, etc.) This exploration of love and human connection is where The Love Project comes into the equation.
Have you heard about it? If you’re an avid Facebook user then you might have seen an advertisement on the sidebar: The Love Project Official Facebook Page At first I thought it was this charity for AIDS or some type of cause, but then I clicked on the ad and immediately fell in love with the concept. The Love Project is an online discussion/forum with videos, commentary, and advice on all things related to love. The goal is to bring everyone together in a positive environment using social media (videos, messaging, tweeting, etc) to discuss love, what love is, and an assortment of questions.
The page was first launched on December 1st and it’s already receiving quite the buzz. Relationships, dating, sex, and love are always going to be topics that people are going to discuss. It always seems to come up in conversations. Shoot, last night I was on the phone listening to someone express to me their discontent with insecure woman and the perils of trying to find a secure woman that is worthy of his love. I don’t really have issues or complaints of that nature when it comes to love. My thing is I just haven’t found that man who kisses my soul. A man who inspires me to crave him spiritually, physically, and emotionally. Just haven’t found that chemistry right now, so I’ve been single for almost a year.
I suppose I’m not on a journey to find a relationship, but I do desire love. A love that is unexpected, natural, and not forced. I can’t really sit here and say exactly what love is, but you know it when it majestically infuses into your life at the right time & place. Love isn’t a cute four letter word that little kids scribble in crayon, it should be a phantasmagorical heart pounding emotion. Now, that is a phantasmagoria of love….
The Love Project
For more thoughts on love, visit The Love Project’s website for videos on a variety of topics and answers from everyday people. You can even submit your own videos. Check it out!
©Jasmine McGee.ThinkSoul25. http://thinksoul25.com
I haven’t been listening to a lot of soul music lately or R&B. That can probably be attributed to my single status and declaration of ultimate freedom with no strings attached, no pressure, and no drama. I love being single and just not worrying about a relationship, but that doesn’t mean I’m against dating and the possibility of a relationship. However, he would have to be something special for me to give up my single status and be exclusive. But I don’t even really like to think about it, I just take each day as it comes and treat the men I encounter as merely friendship; nothing more.
My declaration of being single and enjoying it usually doesn’t last long. I usually goes for a few months, and then I meet a guy that charms me with his witty personality and we end up going on dates with a high possibility of becoming more than casual friends. I’m pretty good at being in a relationship and I’m awesome at being single, it just all depends on the space I’m in. The space I’m in right now is absolutely loving being single, but that doesn’t mean I don’t toy with the idea of randomly meeting a handsome stranger that is no longer a distant stranger; rather a close friend, perhaps more…
I guess when people find someone that speaks to their heart on all levels, that person can maybe be classified as “the one.” Of course, I have no idea what that truly means. I’ve had guys I’ve been with and felt like they were the one, but then I realized I’m only 20 years old and not even sure what having a real career is like and living on my own in an apartment. I still have all this stuff I want to do, not to mention have fun going out, making new friends, and just traveling the world. I’ve had men that were “the one” for the moment, but I couldn’t picture them in my life beyond the stage I was in.
The one you fall in love with and grant them the title of “the one,” should probably be a person that you can imagine spending the rest of your life with; even if you’re not sure if zombies will attack or if the world will end in 2012. However long you perceive your life will be, “the one” should be apart of that scenario. I’m sure it’s a beautiful thing finding that one person you cherish with all your heart and end up spending 10 or more years with. My parents have been married for 21 years, and for the first time last night my mom told me the best two things that ever happened in her life: realizing my dad was the one and holding my brother and I as babies in her arms.
Listening to her talk about realizing my dad was the one and the joy she felt holding us as babies made me slightly emotionally. It’s beautiful to imagine that someone actually can find a person on this earth they tolerate, cherish, and are madly in love with(not lust.) Hearing my mom talk truly inspired me not to give up on my journey of dating and figuring out what kind of man I like. I love being single and having freedom, but this freedom also means I have to keep journeying through the good & bad experiences in order to eventually find “the one.”
My hope in romance is probably why I love watching those old classic films on TCM. They always have a story about some man randomly meeting a woman and falling in love at first sight. One of the best ones I’ve seen is called “The Clock” and it’s a 1945 film starring Judy Garland and Robert Walker. The two meet at a busy train station and spend 48 hours together but Joe (Walker), a solider getting ready to return to war, falls in love with Alice(Garland) and they get married. It’s such a beautiful story and you can truly feel the meaning behind love at first sight. However, I’m not a big believer in love at first sight, but I do believe one day I’ll find that guy who makes me believe in everlasting love. But until that glorious day comes, I’ll keep being single and figuring out what I like through casual dating. That doesn’t mean I don’t daydream or fantasize about the day I do find that mind-blowing love, it just means that I’ve got a lot more soul searching and dating to do.
Here is my favorite scene from the 1945 classic “The Clock.” You can watch the film on YouTube; it’s broken into 8 parts. But in this part they lose each other in the train station and she doesn’t know his last name. This is clearly the time before cell phones. I couldn’t imagine meeting a charming stranger and not having a way of getting in touch. But the way this film portrays love at first sight is one of my favorites and it makes me a sucker for romance.It’s a very beautiful series of shots.
Now, here is that soul music in which this post is titled after. But be sure to check out the rest of The Clock. It’s a great movie!