Today is just another ordinary Saturday. Stayed up till 4am, watching movies and having some deep conversation with my mom as usual. I plan on filming some new ThinkSoul 25 episodes later on this evening, have quite a few things I’d rather talk about than write on here. I’ve gotten some good feedback from some friends, saying it’s nice to see my personality on camera and my quirky antics. As usual, I aim to please…well actually I’m just being myself and yet it ends up working most of the time. Whatever the case may be, I plan on talking about my new campaign for 2011 and also why it’s beneficial to be a culturally diverse person.
But today, I wanted to get some things off my chest, head, heart, and freshly painted red nails. Yeah, this topic is pumping throughout my entire body and I need to speak on it. I’ve met a few guys in the past couple months, who were charming and funny…but on another cultural wavelength. Now, I know that everyone has different things in life that they vibe off of, but I couldn’t be with a man that had a vibe entirely opposite of mine.
Nothing Wrong With A little Swirl
I’ve dated guys who hated house music, didn’t like my taste in art and movies, and some that didn’t even believe in God (not doing that again…), but there are three things that recently been getting on my nerves. Since I’ve been out in Colorado, I’ve opened up my horizons and have dated outside my race. I don’t have a problem with interracial dating at all, if I see a black guy with a white girl it doesn’t bother me. People are able to make their own choices in life…he chose to date her or fall in love with her, and I choose to mainly date black men. Nothing wrong with it. It only becomes an issue for me when your dating someone because of a stereotype, which pisses me off.
I’ve met guys that I have genuinely liked that have been off Latin Descent, White, Native American, Middle Eastern, and other mixed races. I love all kind of men, even though what attracts me though most is a black man, especially with sexy full lips and a nice mocha complexion. The thing I find annoying is when I ask these guys why they like me, or sometimes they just happen to volunteer the information, and the answers have been deal breakers.
I’m Not Your Effin Experiment!
A lot of men outside my race have straight up told me, they have never dated a black girl and they wanted to try something new. I’m not some effin science experiment! You should like a person for the individual and not base it off a stereotype. For instance, not all black girls have big butts and not all black men have huge penises (not going to talk more on that one….lol )My point is, you shouldn’t date someone because of a stereotype. I was talking to this one Mexican/native American guy and he said " See, thats why I need a black woman. You guys have big titties, huge asses, and you guys are bitches." You should have seen my face after that idiot said that, like WTF? I went off, but in an intellectual and classy way. I was able to tell him off without getting all loud and "bitchy" like he would have expected. The nerve of him! I may be a lot of things, but I’m not a bitch and nor do I refer to my female friends as that. I’m typically a happy outgoing person, unless you do something really foul, then that other vicious side of my personality will come out…but that’s rare.
The Turn offs…well things that just don’t work
Stereotyping really turns me off. Okay, so what if I have a "black woman’s body"….keep it to yourself! Don’t be like, see that’s why I love all black women…you guys are thick! Long story short, I don’t talk to him anymore, along with a couple of other guy’s who said all black women were bitches and that’s why they wanted to date one. Ugh, ignorant men!
Aside from the stereotyping, there are a few other things I just can’t deal with. I’m not a picky woman when it comes to looks, but certain personalities and interests don’t click with mine. All I ask that a man be taller than me, have nice lips, and at least smile…can’t stand guys that always mean muggin, not a good look. I’m always smiling, with my high cheekbones touching my eyes, I smile for miles!
1.) Cafes, Bookstores, Museums, and come on now…theatre!
There are a few things embedded in my personality I would like to be able to share with a guy. I love going to Barnes and Noble, grabbing a Caramel Machiatto, and strolling through the aisles for hours. When I find a book that is really good, I’ll sit down in the middle of the aisle and read it for an hour or so. I couldn’t date a guy that didn’t enjoy going to cafes and bookstores…it just won’t work. I’m not going to force a guy to spend time with me in a bookstore or to meet me at Starbucks for a date. I spend a lot of time doing those things, especially before going to a play or museum. So a man that hates coffee, bookstores, and think that theatre is "gay" or not "manly"….then I can’t even be more than a friend with him.
2.) Who is Erykah Badu and What is Neo-Soul?
Do I have to even go there on this one? Oh my gosh, I felt as if someone punched me in the face when I heard this last week from this latin guy and a few times from some black men out here in Colorado. I know that may not be as mainstream as Alicia Keyes or Beyonce, but seriously you’ve never ever heard of Erykah Badu? I have over 900 soul songs on my computer, these songs I have in a completely different genres than the 700 R&B songs. When I have to compare myself to someone famous, I don’t use Beyonce or Nicki Minaj, or even Jennifer Hudson. I’m more of a Jill Scott, Erykah Badu, Ledisi, and even a Sade type woman.
I was so frustrated trying to explain neo-soul to him, he just couldn’t grasp the concept and ended the conversation. I blast house music and neo soul when I’m painting or working on my book. My soul lives and breathes for soulful house and neo-soul, that it is a part of my passion in life. I’m not much of a club/party person, I prefer more of the spoken word cafe and jazz environment. I don’t mind a guy that doesn’t know about that kind of environment, as long as he is willing to compromise and learn about it. But, a man that hates that type of environment and music, I couldn’t really see myself being with long term….just not a good fit.
3.) Lil Wayne is the Best Rapper Alive….really?
Man, I don’t even want to go there on this one. Like seriously? I’ve met so many guys that only listen to Lil Wayne, Gucci Mane, Jeezy, stuff like that and nothing else at all. No Jazz, no gospel, no classical, no rock, nothing! Just mainstream sediment and Lil wayne….weezy all day! There are so many other rappers out there that could be in the running for some of the best rappers in the game and out of the mainstream game, but a man that lives, breathes, and worships Lil Wayne’s lyrics…is not going to get a second date with me. If he made it to a 1st date, he must have held that information back until on the date. SMH, I can’t even type anymore…such a disappointing commentary. What kind of man are you, if you feed your head with such trivial lyrics on a daily basis? I mean, yeah I listen to some stuff that isn’t the most positive, but that’s every once in awhile… not something I do on the regular.
SMH…it’s sad that it’s so hard to find such a cultured man nowadays, that isn’t chasing after a commercial chick or commercial dreams. I don’t expect everyone to be culturally diverse, I do have some close guy friends that are on another social tip. But the man that I want to actually be with and see myself falling in love with, has got to come with a soulful approach to life. This eccentric neo-soul girl, is looking for that soul brotha, and if he happens to like sushi…then it must be a match made in heaven! lol