Tag Archives: just being yourself on a date

The “No Pressure” Date

I haven’t been on a date in forever a month, there just haven’t been any guys that have caught my eye. I’ve flirted with some cool guys out and about, but most of them end up being on the short side. I enjoy engaging in conversation with random people, but it’s rare that I’ll meet a guy that perks my interests. Then on the flip-side, when I do meet a guy who catches me eye, he ends up putting so much pressure and thinking down the line to our wedding. It’s fine to think like that in your mind, but don’t say it on the first date. That’s creepy!

I’ve had my fair of great, good, okay, horrible, and “please can I go home?” dates. One of the worst dates wasΒ when the guy showed up wearing leather gloves and then we hung out a second time, and the leather gloves were present. He was this tall light skin guy with a big fro, but he was not the brightest and had a passion for wearing leather gloves in 80 degree weather. I asked him to take them off and his hands were so soft and gorgeous (probably because the leather gloves protect them) but he wouldn’t stop wearing them with jerseys and baggy jeans. A hot mess! I can’t stand when a guy shows up to a date looking crappy. I put my best out there and flaunt my curves in a tasteful way, so they should step up their game and look like they care. If you’re trying to get somewhere, don’t look a hot mess like this little guy over there. Haha this picture is so wrong, but some guys think like that on a first date, a shame!

Everyone has had their share of good and bad dates, but then there are those dates that stand out in your mind. Today happened to be one of those dates that I kept thinking about after it ended. I ended up meeting this really cool guy offline. The site we met on is okay but a lot of the guys on their that hit on me are old school players in their 40s wearing white suits and chilling with pit bulls, seriously, it’s bad. I usually ignore most of my messages and don’t bother talking to people, but this guy ended up being really nice and age appropriate (26.)

We talked for a while on the site, then became buddies on Facebook. It’s not an official association until confirmed on Facebook, that’s when you know you’re making progress.Β  We chatted for awhile back and forth, he even subtly asked me out but I guess I missed the hints. I was slacking. I was starting to like talking to this guy and chatting on FB, but then I wasn’t sure if he liked me. Finally, I had to say something. I ended up telling him I thought he was cool and then we cleared up the confusion (I wasn’t sure if he liked me, but he did does.) After the brief clear up, we exchange numbers and then finally went on a date today.

I was excited about seeing him, but we discussed a “no pressure” agreement on Facebook. Well, it wasn’t really an agreement but rather an understanding that we are both single, casually dating, and not trying to rush into anything. I don’t like to sit and place pressure on a lot of things, especially when it comes to men. I’d rather just let it flow and see what happens, but at least be upfront about my feelings. Since we had this no pressure thing going on, I came into the date with the mindset that I’m going to totally be myself and not stress.

I’ve been on so many dates, that I’m at the point where I don’t care what happens. I basically be myself on full swing and let it flow. I’ve never been the type of chick to hide my personality for a man or “calm it down.” If you’re going to like me, then you better know what’s up. I’m random, quirky, touchy-feely, very open, and have an odd yet charming sense of humor. I could have easily gone on my date today and tried to be this proper high maintenance chick who has it all together, but I don’t…that’s NOT me. I hate when a man feels bad because he takes a girl to a restaurant he really can’t afford, but he wants to impress her, except he ends up putting himself in a financial rough spot. That’s not cool.

My date had told me he didn’t have a lot of money on him at the moment, but he still wanted to chill. Instead of tripping, I just said hey 1.) Barnes and Noble 2.) Starbucks and 3.) Great conversation.Β  That’s all I really need for a first date. You can find out a lot about a guy by hanging out with him at a bookstore and sipping on Starbucks. I had a great time getting to know my date and there wasn’t this lingering pressure to impress each other. I was being myself and he was being him, which made him even sexier in the end.

We ended up chilling at the bookstore and then walking around this lovely lake and sitting for awhile talking. Honestly, that was the best moment of my date. It was beautiful just being outside and getting to know him. Sitting close and flirting, me singing the Family Matters theme song, doing the Charleston (told you I’m silly) and having him gently put his arms around me. It was one of the best dates I’ve been on in a long time thanks to the “no pressure” understanding.

The date went very well and the “no pressure” thing made me like him even more. Weird right? I had such a great time and we had this sensational personality bond. I’m looking forward to hanging out with him again, no pressure, and just having a great time. I’m not tripping on the details of whether we could be more or not, it was just one date. Yet, I will say I’d be an idiot to pass up flirting with him, laughing with him, and getting to know his charming and sexy self. He’s legit.

I’m digging this entire no pressure thing, yet I enjoy the fact I can still be open and say “Hey, I like you a lot. You’re funny, charming, wise, sexy, and tall.” Seriously, he was 6’3”, that alone was hot. It was nice getting hugged by a tall guy, it felt nice being in his arms but no pressure!!! LOL I’m just getting to know him, but I can say today was one of the best dates I’ve had in a long time. I was actually a little sad when the date ended and I didn’t want to let go of the embrace. He was such a cool guy, like I could totally at least see us being buddies and no pressure on whether something more happens. I hope to see him a lot more and just have fun hanging out, no stress and pressure needed. I hope he feels the same way too. :)

Β©Jasmine McGee