A few days ago I had an interesting conversation with a guy I had chatted back and forth with. We had been messaging back and forth for awhile, so then we finally decided to have a phone conversation. The conversation covered the usual topics( name, age, interests, etc,) but he took it upon himself to ask me “Are you looking for a relationship or are you looking for love?” I hadn’t had someone pose the question in that fashion, so I told him “I’m looking for love. Well not looking, but open to the idea of letting it happen.”
It’s hard to say that I’m looking for love, because I’m not really looking. Of course I put myself in a position to meet new men and embark on a journey of friendship, connections, and perhaps provocative flirting here and there. But I can’t say that I’m on a hunt for love. I don’t think love should be something that you have to hunt for and be on the lookout with an open eye, yet rather it should be a natural progression of bonding. I suppose that bounding takes place in the form of a relationship, but according to that guy a relationship and love are two different things.
You can fall in love with someone without being in a relationship (friends do it all the time) but I understood what he was trying to say. It’s one thing to have a relationship just for the sake of it, however a relationship can simply be a status, whereas love can be a life-changing emotion, an abstract expression, and a state of euphoria. I think we’ve all as human beings have had some point in our life where we were in a relationship just because. It’s not like we were hoping to fall in love. Things went day by day. Things were said and done, but they might not have meant a great deal. Young & Foolish.
I’ve had some good relationships but I don’t think I’ve been madly in true love. But I’m young and still on a journey. Some people find their true love right off the back, and others have a lot of soul searching to do. As I grow to love myself I grow closer to the possibility of meeting someone that I’d want to give my love to. Wait…but what exactly is love? It seems like such an antiquated question, yet it’s apparently quite relevant. People around the world are still trying to fulfill this internal desire to bond with one person emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I think that even though a lot of people might enjoy dating around and having various physical partners (that’s not my thing,) they may be intrinsically searching for that one to eventually settle down with (marriage, long term commitment, etc.) This exploration of love and human connection is where The Love Project comes into the equation.
Have you heard about it? If you’re an avid Facebook user then you might have seen an advertisement on the sidebar: The Love Project Official Facebook Page At first I thought it was this charity for AIDS or some type of cause, but then I clicked on the ad and immediately fell in love with the concept. The Love Project is an online discussion/forum with videos, commentary, and advice on all things related to love. The goal is to bring everyone together in a positive environment using social media (videos, messaging, tweeting, etc) to discuss love, what love is, and an assortment of questions.
The page was first launched on December 1st and it’s already receiving quite the buzz. Relationships, dating, sex, and love are always going to be topics that people are going to discuss. It always seems to come up in conversations. Shoot, last night I was on the phone listening to someone express to me their discontent with insecure woman and the perils of trying to find a secure woman that is worthy of his love. I don’t really have issues or complaints of that nature when it comes to love. My thing is I just haven’t found that man who kisses my soul. A man who inspires me to crave him spiritually, physically, and emotionally. Just haven’t found that chemistry right now, so I’ve been single for almost a year.
I suppose I’m not on a journey to find a relationship, but I do desire love. A love that is unexpected, natural, and not forced. I can’t really sit here and say exactly what love is, but you know it when it majestically infuses into your life at the right time & place. Love isn’t a cute four letter word that little kids scribble in crayon, it should be a phantasmagorical heart pounding emotion. Now, that is a phantasmagoria of love….
The Love Project
For more thoughts on love, visit The Love Project’s website for videos on a variety of topics and answers from everyday people. You can even submit your own videos. Check it out!
©Jasmine McGee.ThinkSoul25. http://thinksoul25.com
Today has been an extremely chilled day. My favorite thing about summer is sitting back and relaxing, but summer classes have been pushing me away from serenity. I’m actually sitting here right now enjoying this sushi and contemplating if I should do my school work now or play video games. Of course, the obvious answer is to finish my sushi and then do my school work. I’m a huge fan of two things in life: coffee and sushi, but never eating them together (that’s gross!)
The one good thing about moving back to Maryland is the option of shopping at Trader Joes instead of Safeway. Out in Denver they didn’t have a Trader Joes, so when I found out I live down the street from the Whole Foods for real people; I immediately began shopping there. I still shop at Safeway a majority of the time, but Trader Joes does have some great deals. My mom got me these Okami Spicy California Rolls and they aren’t half bad. I still have a craving for Tempura Shrimp Sushi, but for now these rolls will suffice my sushi craving.
As I’m sitting here eating my sushi, I can’t get this documentary I saw earlier today out of my head. If you happen to be a fan of Sundance Channel, then you’ve probably seen the Love|Lust series. The documentary series comes on Tuesday nights at 10pm EST and it always covers some unique topics. I’ve seen one about the origin of bikini’s, makeup, the little black dress, street eats (I’m watching it now,) and the one tonight on zombies looks very cool! Love|Lust is one of those shows that you can’t help but watch; it’s an exploration of the things we love vs. lust.
The episode of Love|Lust I watched earlier was a documentary about social networking and I still can’t get it out of my head. It explored the origin of social networking, a concept that pre-dates the era of Internet and mobile apps. We live in such a technology and media infused society that the concept of intimate strangers is becoming a lifestyle. By intimacy I mean close friendships and relationships. The term isn’t limited to sexual encounters, but social networking platforms and virtual realities are making sexual fantasies and intimacy with strangers possible.
The special, which you can see at http://www.sundancechannel.com/love-lust/, offered a cutting edge look into the world of social networking. I’ve heard of sites such as Second Life and Ashley Madison, but I never took into account how the Web brings strangers together without ever meeting in person. Personally speaking I’d never use Second Life and get wrapped into a fantasy relationship with strangers. It takes away the real life experience of falling in love with someone and kissing them in real time. Yet some people have fallen in love on Second Life and have gotten married in Second Life; later meeting in person and attempting to have a real relationship.
The Internet has the ability to bring people together from every corner of the world and it’s mind blowing to sit down and think about it. As a blogger and a writer, I’ve met a bunch of people through social networking platforms. Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, Blackplanet, Bloggers.com, and so many other sites have brought people into my life throughout the years. It all began when I joined Myspace in 2005 and since then I’ve encountered interesting people in my online interactions. I’ve even dabbled with the idea of dating sites and have actually dated a few men I’ve met offline.
The concept of forming close relationships with people you’ve never met is scary yet a reality. With so many things going on every second of the day, social media has this ability to bring strangers together over common topics. The most striking thing about the Love|Lust social networking episode is the fact that there is a site out there for every individual on this earth. Whatever your hobby may be or things you like to talk about, social networking has this cool ability of introducing to other people like you. For the cats lovers, the anime geeks, the celebrity gossip fans, the athletes, the single folk, married people looking to cheat (Ashley Madison’s service), music fans, and people seeking cultural havens; social networking makes anything a possibility.
Whatever your looking for, you can find it somewhere on the web…including people. Online dating is one of those trends that I don’t think will ever go away. It’s kind of cool having the ability to log onto a site and somewhat custom build a mate by customizing your search preferences. Online dating is a fun yet annoying experience, but there is nothing better than meeting someone who catches your eye in person. I have people that I’ve met online and have known them for over six years. I know virtually almost everything about these people and have been there virtually for some of the biggest moments in their life.
I haven’t met a lot of these people and the funny thing is we actually live in the same state and time zone. The reason we haven’t met is because I moved out to Colorado and have been so busy with my own life. Yet hopefully in the near future I will meet some of these intimate strangers I’ve known for years. Social networking can be fun, annoying, scary, fascinating, and it can be time consuming. Networking and meeting people who promote the same cause as you is a rewarding experience and it’s even better when you eventually meet in person. As I scroll through my phone and Facebook right now, I never realized how many friends I’ve met over the years online and I’ve hung out with them in person…very cool!
To those people out there who say “I don’t like Facebook” and “I don’t talk to people I don’t know”, get over it! You’re so living in the 90s and you need to come up to date on the calendar. It’s 2011 people, social networking and meeting people offline is never going away…it’s just beginning.