On one particular evening in 2010, I found myself glued to the Sundance Channel watching some documentary called Catfish. I had never heard of it before, but after glaring at the description for a few moments — I decided to watch the entire film.
If you never watched the film, then it’s worth checking out, especially if you’re curious about the new MTV series Catfish: The Tv Show. Basically this guy named Nev ends up falling for a girl online, and he learns that her little sister is an amazing artists. As he builds up a relationship with this striking woman via Facebook, phone calls, and texting, his brother films the entire process. But at a certain point, the time comes to actually take a journey and meet the girl of his dreams…but she isn’t the beautiful sex pistol with a huge social life and a heart for Nev. Nope, it’s an older woman with kids, scraggly hair, and an awkward personality. Yeah, he was majorly blindsided.
Have you ever gone through anything like that? Maybe you have, maybe you haven’t…but I have. In my adventures of online dating and making friends online ever since the coolness of Myspace, I’ve had my fair share of lies. The lies about their “lives” varied each time. And one time the guy looked nothing like his pictures at all. Instead of being this light skin hottie with a bright smile, he was this dark skin (I didn’t mind, but don’t lie about your complexion) tall guy with messed up teeth, a horrible smile, and a life that was a scam. Yet, I dated him for two weeks, then dumped him. Guess I was lonely and used him for company. Haha, I’m not perfect either.
I’ve been through it so many times. Even falling in love with a guy, meeting in person, dating for three weeks, allowing myself to be madly in love, and then realizing his name was a lie, his education, where he lived, his car situation, his family, and realizing he had fake Facebook profiles and a girlfriend. Yeah, never letting myself trust that hardcore again. Well, I trust some people, but it’s going to take time. All these men I’ve met offline and have built friendships with, even relationships, end up being married, have girlfriends, or just scumbags. Online dating and interactions have become some polluted by fakes, that it is hard to find true folks; even some go to extreme to make their life seem so real on Google. Guess you never know.
I’m not perfect, but never have I lied about my life or my looks. As many pictures as I take and I have Skype and my life is basically on the web via this blog, it would be pretty hard to make up stories; my life is cool, why hide it? But some people, for whatever reasons, build online connections with people under false pretenses. And the show Catfish is all about that.
The first episode of the show followed a girl named sunny who had a 8 month online relationship with a model, but Nev slowly unraveled the truth and took her to meet her beau. But come to find out, it ended up being this overweight vindictive girl who was bullied in HS and decided to start getting back to strangers. She never even met the guy she claimed to be, but had made a profile for him and everything. Horrible, right? But I did enjoy the drama and intrigue, and it’s safe to say we can expect more of that from this Catfish TV Show.
So, did you watch the first episode? Has it ever happened to you? I will admit, I’ve had a lot of bad encounters, but I’ve good as well. This year I met a guy I had known for 2 years online, but we had at least Skyped, text, and talked on the phone. And you know what, it was awesome meeting in NYC. We are still great friends and we both were telling the truth about ourselves. So in the midst of the bad, their can still be some good, and hopefully Catfish will have a few stories that end up good. Guess we will have to wait and see until next week!
Oh and if you’re wondering have I learned my lesson? Yes. Even though I have an Okcupid account, I doubt I will end up meeting anybody soon. I rather date and mingle in the club or a bar rather than online, but I guess it doesn’t hurt to have a profile up.
I didn’t get a chance to blog the other day due to a lot of things that were taking place, but now I have the time today to share some of my thoughts. This week so far has been pretty good. I been spinning on my spin bike like a maniac, and I’m just anxious for the semester to start. I can’t believe I’m so close to actually graduating college; a mind blowing feeling of accomplishment tends to overwhelm me.
Nearing graduation is an awesome feeling, and it inspires me to think about what I want to happen in the next few months. I turn 21 in April & that signals a lot of new things for me, especially more social outlets. My brother is always asking me to go out to house clubs & cool lounges, but I’m never old enough. But least when I turn 21 I can go out more with him, as well as have the chance of interacting with some better men.
2012 is going to be a year where I actually ignore the lames & get rid of unreliable
bastards men. My major pet peeve is men that are extremely unreliable and inconsistently persuasive. When I say “inconsistently persuasive,” I’m referring to men that don’t really follow through when it comes to getting to know you, but then they pop up weeks later with all these “charming” words that are supposed to allure you back into their self-centered orbit. All the “charming” things they say are apparently supposed to evoke an “awwww” from me, and have me forget the fact they’ve stood me up, often didn’t return my text or phone calls, and preached about going back to their ex, but then come back saying they want to give me a shot. WTF?
I absolutely loathe when men try to play games like that, it seriously pisses me off. I’m not just some loading zone that you can chill in for a little bit when your visiting, then you leave for days or weeks, but then come back later and try to set up shop for a few days. I know dating is all about having a variety of options (which I always do, never limit yourself to one man when single,) but I can’t stand it when guys seem really nice & interested, but then so damn inconsistent.
This inconsistency can probably be attributed to that “three-day-rule,” but man eff that nonsense. I know you don’t want to seem too eager, but I’m the type of woman that if you already barely have a busy life & some shitty job, then there is no need for you to not take the time to at least text me back. Then 5 days later, which is way over that 3 day time-frame, you text back like “hey baby.” WTF? Now all of a sudden you want to play this charm card. Ugh, I can’t stand that!
My thought on it is basically the following. I understand that dating is fun & it’s just about getting to know people, but don’t say a bunch of shit how you seriously want to get to know me and then not even have the common decency to be consistent with the process of interaction. Don’t just up & disappear for weeks to months, then text me or call me like everything is okay and you missed me & can’t wait to go another date. Nah, that doesn’t fly with me. Especially when I’ve actually take the time to be nice, then end up getting stood up or you pull that same inconsistent card & don’t bother to even call to let me know you can’t make our date. Instead you just don’t hit me up, then we go through the cycle again & a few weeks later you come back into my life like I owe you the time of day.
2012 is a new year, and new dating rules. No more second chances for
guys jerks that try to play me with inconsistent persuasion. I’m going to keep dating around and just continuing not to take guys seriously, because apparently when you think someone is actually going to take the effort to be consistent, they are just coming in & out of your life like they have the right to play with your emotions. Well I’m not doing that this year. Like for instance, today I woke up two a few text messages from some guys I was talking to & one I had gone on a date with, but he is always inconsistent & comes back weeks at a time preaching how much he needs me in his life. Oh hush up! I deleted all their numbers, and I’m moving on with my life. Here’s new rule. If I hit you up with a text or a phone call, and it takes you longer than 3 days to hit me up, then you’re basically not a factor to me. “Delete, delete, delete.”
My time is too precious to be wasting it with inconsistent immature men that act is if they can actually charm their way back into my life. Wake up & smell the coffee, I’m putting some new rules in place in 2012. So get with the program, or get lost. Once you’ve lost my interest & my genuine communication, then it’s dead. This ain’t zombies, you can’t come back to life after this connection dies. It’s a wrap.
©Jasmine McGee.ThinkSoul25. http://thinksoul25.com