I really hate eating unhealthy! The feeling of the calories and the heaviness makes me sick to my stomach. Not saying I’m perfect and I don’t divulge here and there, but I’m really good at restricting myself from junk.
Being in a creative spirit, I wrote a quirky poem to describe how it makes me feel.
No Yummy In My Tummy
Loaded discounts galore,
Foods my whore.
Trying to say no,
She won’t let me go.
Smother on the pounds,
Lay me out and call the hounds.
Is it cardiac arrest
Or a messy caress?
My belly begins to shake
From this disastrous taco quake.
More than a body should take.
Fat…a word I vehemently detest. I especially hate when women that aren’t a size 6 or below are deemed “fat” because they have curves, but in the tradition of media & body image, the word “fat” is thrown around so loosely.
Yesterday, I was reading a few articles on the web about Christina Aguilera’s new video, and I ran across more than a handful of horrible comments calling her fat, lard, cow, and so many other cruel obscenities. As I sat there reading the comments, I began to get pissed off. How the hell is she fat? Just because she has thick thighs (which most men would find sexy) and an overall voluptuous build in comparison to her skinny figure, that doesnt make her fat; she has the body of a curvaceous sexy woman.
There is a big difference between being curvy, thick, fat, and obese, but in the eyes of media any time someone gains weight or their body changes, they are immediately deemed as “fat.” You all know exactly what I’m talking about, take for instance Jessica Simpson “struggling” to lose weight after having a baby, and let’s not forget Lady Gaga’s “shocking” weight gain.
If you have been paying attention to media in the past two days, then you know about Lady Gaga and her weight gain. The pop star who admittedly struggled with bulimia has gained 30lbs from eating good homemade Italian dishes, but she doesn’t regret it at all. She admits that she gained weight from eating too much “good food” and that she is dieting now, but doesn’t feel bad for the way she looks. Yet, people in the media & rude commentators on blogs are already pouncing on her calling her “fat.”
Lady Gaga has been such a spokesperson for bullying, self acceptance, and those in the LGBT community, but she gains some weight and we treat her like crap? That is so messed up! Why do we make these women feel like shit just because life happens and they gain weight? And what if they, like Christina Aguilera, decide they like their new figures, is that such a sin?
There is nothing wrong with being curvy, trust me, there isnt. I myself am a curvaceous size 14 (size 12 dress) standing at 6ft tall with thick thighs and hips for miles. Am I fat? Nope, I’m just a real woman with curves that I don’t mind flaunting and I haven’t had any complaints from the fellas, so there is nothing wrong with me. Yet, I used to actually compare myself to media images and thought I was deemed “unattractive.”
The absurd hatred and ignorance in media’s dealing with body image pisses me off. It’s not everybody’s plot in life to be super skinny. Some of us, like myself, actually have diseases/disorders (I have PCOS) that make losing weight a constant struggle. I used to beat myself up so bad and try starving myself just to be the dream size 2, but that never happened (and I don’t think it ever will nor do I want it to.) I mean I remain active and work out because I love it, but I know that getting super skinny is a challenge and I already have other aspects of my disease I deal with, so I just embrace my sexy curves and make it work. But I knew if I was in the media spotlight, people would immediately deem me “plus-size” and make me feel like shit. SHM, it’s ridiculous!
The issue of body image and what is apparently beautiful (according to media guidelines) is something that probably won’t change anytime soon. The individuals that embrace being curvy and set a new “trend” are often seen as the outcast in the limelight. But the sad reality is that being curvy is now a “trend.” Really folks, it’s an acceptable trend now to use curvy women? Wow, what has the world come to?
Instead of it being normal for curvy women to be bold, beautiful, and present in media, it’s now a shocking news ticker that Ralph Lauren hires it’s first “plus-size” model ever; Robyn Lawley is a plus-size model who is currently modeling for Ralph Lauren. Don’t get me wrong, I’m super proud that she is going to be modeling and representing for us curvy women for a clothing line that surely caters to skinny women, but why should this even be news? It should just be another day for a beautiful woman doing something awesome with her career and moving herself forward, instead of it being such a shocker in the fashion industry that Ralph Lauren is using a “thick girl.” And I wouldn’t even call her (or myself) plus size. Lawley is the average size 12 and she stands of 6 ft 2 (thumbs up for tall chicks!)
I could go on and on about body image and how it pisses me off that women with curves are deemed as “fat” by the so call bs standards of media and the modeling industry, but I’m not going to waste any time trying to convince folks curves are beautiful. At the end of the day, it’s up to you whether you think being curvy is beautiful or “fat.” And don’t think I’m hating on women that are skinny, because I’m not. My whole point is that, you have got to love yourself the way you are and if you decide to flaunt your curves and thickness, it shouldn’t be an issue.
Curves shouldn’t be like a rare UFO sighting or Bigfoot sighting; curves aren’t a freak of nature. We need to get to the point in our society where we stop “bullying” women for being curvy or gaining weight and deciding “hey, I don’t mind being curvy, I don’t have to be a size 2 anymore.” As anorexia rises amongst women and men as well, we need to get to accept all different types of bodies and not treat those who have curves as if they are doing something wrong. Honey, there is nothing wrong with being curvy. Get out their, shake your butt, flaunt your curves, and let the world know that you are curvy and damn proud of it.
I often try to avoid proverbial anecdotes when discussing matters of life, matters of the heart, and the essence of the journey I’ve stumbled upon. Expressing my thoughts, my experiences, and my overall revelations have become this constant exploration of avoiding nuances in my sentences; daring to avoid mindless repetition of expressing norms, which indeed deserve abstract appraisal.
So when it comes to the subject of self discovery, I tend to prefer abstractly avant-garde analyses that lead to an often inexplicably quirky study. Honestly, sometimes I like to lead my life as if I’m in the subject of a documentary, or better yet, an independent film that follows the story of a young woman finding herself along the path. Except it’s not a nice golden path, but a road filled with a lot of potholes, rays of sunshine beaming at certain points, and a few solemn park benches awaiting company.
The sheer quintessence of the path I find myself walking is a path fueled by…liberation. For so many years I tried to meander a path that was indistinguishable to the peers crowding me, but in hindsight I uncovered the beauty of the renaissance woman I was destined to be. Yet, I still found myself trying to equate the definition of a renaissance woman to my distant role models, but then my desire to fit that mold was swiftly becoming unnerved. I couldn’t aspire to be like my so-called “role models.” Far from suitable. I couldn’t navigate myself through the necessary assimilation to transition from one mask to another, so then I accepted the reality of being unreservedly quirky, a “title” that seemed to offer the utmost liberation.
I can’t aspire to be like someone I admire, well…because that’s too much pressure. I’ve never fit the mold of any category. Yes, I’m an artist & I’m driven by the creative abstract expression that makes my art personable, but I’m more than just an “artist.” The same principal applies to my writing. Yes, I write. It’s something I love and I’m very passionate about, but even being confined solemnly to that title alone stirs apprehension in my heart. Art, writing…simply things I do. Without any immeasurable sense of doubt, both of those disciplines shape my personality, but then there is still the question of my personality. What is it?
It’s been one of those things I’ve been trying to figure out…okay, not really figure out, but accept for years. Not just my personality, but even my self awareness & appreciation for my body. My height used to frustrate me, but over the years I’ve grown to love being basically 6ft tall. But my body issues are something I’ve been dealing with for 5 years, and lately things have been bumpy since my visit to the doctor confirmed that I do have PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome) and it’s something that I’ll have for the rest of my life. It’s not deadly or anything (I do need to start treatment to avoid more serious illnesses), but for now its just a hormonal quandary. But I’ve come to terms with my body image, and I’ve accepted the fact I will always be curvy (as well as the occassional hormonal imbalances). Nothing wrong with that. Just means I get to be curvy & quirky, quite a fusion.
So I’ve accepted my body, and now as I’m heading towards a new phase in life (graduating college & chasing after my dream career,) I have come to terms with being my jazzy & quirky self. I tried to be one of those “flawless” divas that has got everything together, but that’s not me. I could care less about constantly getting my nails & hair done (I can do that myself.) I don’t want to constantly be seeking the approval from a male. The only approval that matters is mine. I approve myself, that should be adequate. No need to alter my personality or “dumb down” my intellectual quirkiness that generates the spark in my big almond eyes. And now that I’ve come to terms with accepting my single life & not having the pressure to constantly date a bunch, I realize that I can truly focus on expanding upon my quirky personality & finding new witty things that bring forth undying serenity. Ah, “undying serenity,” I do quite like the sound of that….
When I first sat down to write this post, I wasn’t quite sure what direction this was going to take. I just wrote. But looking back upon every delicate sentence, I realized why I love my blog. Even though I write about music, film, and other aspects of pop culture, I also enjoy sharing pieces of myself with my readers. It’s nice to break down the facade, and let my soul guide my fingers with every stroke on the keyboard. I try to write without any expectations, I just write because it’s something I love. It’s a piece of the abstraction expression held within the framework of my personality, and every time I blog, I feel like a part of me is somehow having an impact on the world. I don’t expect to make people smile or laugh, but if it happens in the process, then that’s just the beauty of my artistic soul doing what it does best, organically creating.
©Jasmine McGee.ThinkSoul25. http://thinksoul25.com
For more information on Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, visit the PCOSupport site.
Bon Iver- Holocene
Even though I work out almost every single day, it doesn’t mean that I’m striving for “perfection.” I work out in order to maintain a healthy life style, to reach some personal goals, and because it’s so fun! I love getting all sweaty and feeling the adrenaline rush. If I lose weight in the process, then right on! But no body should feel pressure to strive for “perfection” in regards to standards of beauty within our society.
I’ve done a lot of essays, even speeches for school, on the unrealistic images portrayed in media. I’m a curvy woman and I’m all for woman loving their body. There is actually a site called Curve Appeal that has hundreds of real woman across the world submitting their pics and showing off their natural curves. Just your average women showing that they have curves and they don’t care about being a size 0. Check it out if you’d like @ http://curveappeal.tumblr.com/
Sites that showcase women and their real curves are a great contrast to the pro-ana sites that show off anorexic girls and gives tip on how to be anorexic. It’s sad that some many women feel pressure to reach standards in media that are often airbrushed, achieved by unhealthy tactics, or are simple just different body types. Not every woman is naturally thin, which is why I think it’s great to see filmmaker Daryl Roberts expose the reality of beauty in America.
His first film, America the Beautiful, was a documentary that followed Gerren Taylor (she was also on that horrible BET show Baldwin Hills) and her journey as a young model. Roberts used the documentary as a format to follower her career and America’s obsession with beauty. I originally watched the film On Demand and then watched it a second time on Netflix. It was interesting seeing how obsessed with beauty a lot of women and men are. Issues of beauty don’t just affect women, men deal with them as well. For more information that, read my article “Men & Body Image.”
Beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, and colors. I think a woman that is naturally a size 4 is just as beautiful as a size 14 woman(hey, that’s my size!) You’ve got to love what you’re working with and flaunt it! Even if you’re working out and trying to lose weight (I will admit, I am working out to least tone up and burn some pounds) you’ve got to know that no matter what size you are, you are fabulous! Don’t stress yourself out and get caught up in the American obsession with being thin and beautiful.
I know it sounds like a message that is being told over and over again, but it’s important that everyone realize they are beautiful. Don’t hate on girls that have the toned bodies and don’t make fun of girls that aren’t so toned. The goal should be to be healthy. So if that means losing weight and changing your eating pattern, then do it for health reasons or personal goals. Not because you want to be a size 0 model. If that was the case, then all of us brown skin women would have to bleach our skin in order to look like all the White models we see dominating fashion. Um, I think I’ll pass on that!
Here is the first film, America the Beautiful. You can watch the entire hour-long film on Hulu or feel free to check it out on Netflix. Part 2, America the Beautiful 2: The Thin Commandments will be limited released in the next few weeks and then I think there will be a nationwide release. Check out the trailer below and visit the site for more information. http://americathebeautifuldoc.com/2/atb/the-thin-commandments/
©Jasmine McGee.ThinkSoul25. http://thinksoul25.com