I’m actually attempting to start going to bed a lot earlier in 2012 in order to preserve my sanity and have more time to create in the day, but I can’t help but get caught up creating & browsing the Web well after midnight. I’ve got some really cool blogs I enjoy reading, and I’m always finding some cool new music or comedy on YouTube.
Right now I’m trying to get ready to go to bed, but I’m procrastinating. Ah, I know, I know. I totally should just shut off my Macbook and go to sleep, but I’m waiting for my Sleepytime tea to cool down. Usually I’d sip on Nighty Night Tea (yeah, it’s actually called that) but I’m laying on my bed right now laughing at the latest episodes of Shit Girls Say. Not too long ago I did a post on the first episode, which you can read by clicking here.
But they came out with two more episodes, and I just found out about them. People have done some spin offs like Shit Black Girls Say & Shit Black Guys Say, and they were hilarious! As a Black girl, I can really relate to those ones as well. But then of course you’ve got a lot of people out there who were offended by the portrayal, but dude get over it. It’s just a joke. It’s humorous. People try to act all proper & socially/politically correct, but sometimes you’ve got to just chill out and take a good laugh. I mean as a Black woman I wasn’t offended because we say some priceless stuff. Out of all the videos I can honestly say I really relate to the Shit Black Girls Say, and since I hang out with mainly Black guys, I can say that the video for Shit Black Guys say is on point! I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve heard a Black dude say some of the lines in that video. LOL, too funny!
All the videos are hilarious, but apparently the original Shit Girls Say has much more content to work with so I’m sure these videos will keep rolling in within the next few weeks. But maybe there will be another installment in the Shit Black Guys/Girls Say videos. But for now enjoy the hilarious tweets by @shitgirlssay & watch episode 2 and 3 (well that one totally sucked, so I’m not posting it.) It just wasn’t as funny as the 1st and 2nd episode. They should just stick to the quick cuts and phrases, not one long drawn out conversation that is lame. But let me stop ranting and critiquing it. If you’re a female, then most likely you can relate to Shit Girls Say. It’s hilarious, witty, & oh so true. Every time I watch the episodes I’m like “OMFG, I totally say that!”
©Jasmine McGee.ThinkSoul25. http://thinksoul25.com
My, my, my…yet again the state of Black dating has hit the media circuits. Usually I prefer to avoid commenting on the media frenzy surrounding Black women and the epidemic facing them in finding potential mates, but I figure I’d speak my opinion. For those of you who may not read a lot of blogs written by Black women, then perhaps you are unaware of the controversial new book by Ralph Richard Banks called Is Marriage for White People?: How the African-American Marriage Decline Affects Everyone.
First off, that title is way too long. I’m sure he could have easily shortened it to “Ebony Needs Ivory,” since his book is blaming the state of singleness on Black women and their lack of desire to date outside of their race. Now I must confess and say I haven’t read the book at all, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been reading the heated arguments made by Black women on other sites and blogs. It also doesn’t mean that I don’t have an opinion on this situation that goes beyond his book. This issue has been around for quite some time, so it’s worth discussing. But I do intend on reading his book, it sounds interesting. A lot of women are upset that he would write a book and seemingly place blame on Black women for being single. He believes that many Black women are close-minded in their dating choices and need to date outside their race in order to find men that are of the same socioeconomic status.
I can understand why a lot of Black women are upset, but I also understand somewhat what this Dr. Bank’s guy is trying to say. Let’s just get one thing straight, I’m Black, but I’m not the “stereotypical” Black woman that is usually depicted. I’ve written blog posts in the past how many people within the Black community I have met have classified me as “uppity,” “acting white,” or simply “weird.” Some, but not all, of the Black men I have encountered usually end up being intimidated by my success and my level of education. Let’s pause there and discuss that briefly. I haven’t even graduated college yet, but to be 20 yrs old and a senior in college seems to scare off a lot of Black men I’ve met that may not be on the same socioeconomic level as me. You’d think it wouldn’t be a big deal, but a lot them are just shocked I’m doing so much with my life at a young age. What do they expect me to do? Be a stereotypical ghetto Black girl with baby daddy drama and no education? Nah, I think I’ll pass on that.
I’m not knocking anyone who does come from that lifestyle track, but that isn’t who I am. I’m extremely well educated, always have been and always will be. I don’t have kids, I haven’t seen all the “Black films” I’m apparently supposed to watch, and I’d rather listen to soulful house music instead of hip-hop. My past experiences in life have deemed me not a “catch” by a good amount of non-college educated Black men I meet, which is why I’ve never limited myself to just Black men. I actually can see where this Dr. Banks guy is coming from, but it doesn’t mean the way he phrased everything is right. Whenever anybody discusses they Black dating “crisis,” they must truly take into account the reality within the Black community.
A lot of Black men end up in prison, dead, or having a criminal past and not being able to be equally competitive in certain career tracks. It’s true we live in a society that is still subject to racial disparity, but some Black men really just need to stop playing the blame game and get it together. I know it’s difficult and Black men have always been a threat to White men in the workforce, but there are a lot of Black men that do have their stuff together and are legit. They hold distinguished degrees and are in positions of power in their respective fields. But usually the guys that are doing so well don’t have time for the negative attitude that some Black women portray, and these men tend not to be the most swag literate.
I personally prefer the intellectual, often geeky guy, over the swag literate guy who most likely can’t captivate my attention. One thing I detest the most is a high level of ignorance in a man. I absolutely am turned off by the guys that may be extremely attractive, but their conversation is ignorant. That goes beyond color for me. Any man of any race can be ignorant, so I’m not one to sit here and say all Black men are ignorant. But the major “crisis” in the Black dating pool comes when we start playing a major blame game and forget to take into account that some people or on different socioeconomic levels than others. Instead of bashing a man because he may not be able to hold an intellectual conversation or not well-educated, simply just shut-up and go mingle with men that are on your level.
I used to be one to complain about all the ignorant guys who would find me sexy and have this desire to know me, but the moment I actually began speaking about more than comedy and looks, they would lose interest and never call me again. It doesn’t too much bother me, because I also cut off men that are ignorant and just not worth my time. There is nothing wrong with realizing someone just isn’t on the same mental level as you and you guys don’t click. But so many Black men and women began bashing each other and playing the blame game, when in reality they need to just not trip over it and take people as they come if they want to. It’s ignorant to just limit yourself to one type of person based upon race, when in actuality it should be based upon personality and even ambition. When it comes to dating and the type of man I like, I don’t base it upon their skin color. I love all types of men as long as they are well-educated, culturally diverse, and fun to be around.
Anytime I’ve ever tried to get with someone from a different lifestyle experience, it never works out. I’ve had plenty of men tell me that the fact I’m well-educated and so successful at a young age is intimidating; they just can’t handle me and everything I’m doing. But that’s quite alright. I know that even in the midst of this Black dating “crisis,” they are still Black men and men of other races out there that are on the same intellectual and socioeconomic level as me. So instead of playing the blame game and complaining about the problem, I’d rather just enjoy being single and keep hope alive that things will change once I graduate and have a whole new network of interactions working in D.C. around working professionals. If you throw yourself in an environment immersed with a diverse amount of people that are on the same intellectual and socioeconomic level then you, then the dating “crisis” wouldn’t be an issue.
In the right environment and the right mindset, a lot of Black women would just be another beautiful Black woman with a Masters degree, not a threat to just “Black men.” Don’t limit yourself to one type of man, but don’t discount Black men either. There are a lot of “good” Black men out there that are well-educated, they just probably aren’t in the club jamming to Lil Wayne and Gucci. Black people are still getting married, they just aren’t in the mainstream stereotypical depictions of Blacks in the media. You will probably find the well-educated Black men in the engineering department or at a bar with their White friends being the token. Instead of chasing after the “thuggish” Black guy who you obviously know isn’t on your level, for that geeky token Black guy. Those guys are some of the coolest Black men out there, trust me, they are pretty awesome. Be calm and love a “geek” that is on your level, instead of going for a guy that you realistically have nothing in common with.
©Jasmine McGee.ThinkSoul25. http://thinksoul25.com
“The Black skin is not a badge of shame, but rather a glorious symbol of national greatness.”
Since the early days of mankind, Black men have roamed the planet and have overcome adversity. From our great African ancestors and the warriors transplanted from their kingdoms to the cotton fields, Black men have weathered the storms. The quote above by Marcus Garvey says it all, Black skin shouldn’t be viewed as a badge of shame yet rather a glorious symbol of
national worldwide greatness.
Black men, whether they be African-American, African, Mixed, etc; they are beautiful on so many levels. It’s something about the way they walk, the way the talk, the way their body looks, and the varying shades they come in. Even though many Black men have to deal with racial disparity and stereotyping, many of them still try to make the best out of life and make their dream come true. This persistent determination and evolutionary concept of staying on their “grind” is just one of the many reasons why I love Black men.
I’ve dated various people from different cultural backgrounds, but their is something about Black men that lures me in. I love the way their full lips gently move when they talk and it’s even better when their full lips are gently kissing you. In my opinion it’s a perfect combination, especially when my full lips are greeted by a Black man’s soft coffee coolers. I’ve kissed a few other guys outside my race, typically ones with smaller lips, but I must say some of the most amazing kisses I’ve had have come from a strong and passionate Black man.
The chemistry touches on an emotional, physical, mental, and historical level. Black men and women have over come great adversity, our ancestors are timeless heroes. The bond between a Black man and a Black woman is symbolic of Black history and the challenges are people have faced just to be together and see another day. Even though there are so many dating options in the world and there is nothing wrong with interracial dating, there is something beautiful about seeing a strong Black couple weather the storms and reach the sunshine.
One of my favorite things about Black men, is the fact they come in so many different shades, sizes, styles, and backgrounds. It’s hard to pinpoint down my type, because I don’t judge whether a guy is “light skin” or “dark skin.” As long as it has some brown in it, then I’m down for the cause. Black men have this enticing aura about them, they can appear threatening and dangerous to society, yet they can be gentle teddy bears. I especially love a towering warrior, the type of man that is 6’3” 6’4” and is built like a football player. Give me Dhani Jones, minus the ego and a little taller, that’s the build that drives me wild! LOL
There are just so many things that I love on a Black man. A nice smile, a smooth brown complexion, arms that are weapons of mass destruction, and an ambition that is relentless. I grew up surrounded by positive Black men, which explains why I love them so much. I come from a family of successful Black marriages, doctors, military professionals, athletes, dancers, entrepreneurs, and a family of Black men that strive for success. My mom has three sisters and four brothers and they are living examples of great Black men and women.
I could sit here and go on and on about why I love black men. From the inspirational leaders such as Malcolm X, Huey Newton, Marcus Garvey, and Martin Luther King, to the Black male icons such as Denzel Washington, Spike Lee, Sidney Poitier, Blair Underwood, and so many other Black men. Simply put, I love Black men! I admire so many great Black men and other Black men I admire as more than just great inspirations. *wink wink, how you doin’!*
Even though Black men and women face their struggles in relationships, we have to strive to remove the negative connotation that is being associate with “Black.” Instead of sitting around and bashing Black men for their faults (they have faults, just like all men do,) we as Black women have to view the Black dating paradigm from a psychological and historical viewpoint rather than an impulsive and irrational emotional complex. Black love still does exist, it may not be easy, but no interaction beyond a hello and a goodbye is ever easy. Instead of bashing a Black man, I aim to give them praise for their attempts at fixing the mistakes their fathers may have made and trying to be a good Black man.
Black men, what can I say? I love them!!! But one thing I love even more than Black men, is Black love….now that is truly a wonderful thing.
If you love Black men, then check out http://iloveblackmen.tumblr.com/ It’s the site where I got the inspiration for this post and the pictures.
The beauty of Black love and Black bodies….Timothy Bloom’s “Till the End of Time”
This song says it all…Angie Stone “Brotha”
Ever since I was young, I’ve always had labels thrown my way that didn’t necessarily fit. I’ve been called ghetto(that only fits when I’m angry), uppity, artistic (that one fits,) a geek( that I am), and other titles surrounding the words uppity, boogie, and white washed in my cultural interests. I’m not one to constrict my desires and ambitions to a specific label, yet some deem it necessary to place me in a category.
They can’t quite figure out my personality and my wide range of interests, so they tend to stick me in the white washed uppity negro category. Of course, most of the people that place me in this category tend to be limited to one type of music, one type of clothing style, and a very limited perception of the world. I grew up moving back and forth the country, being exposed to different cultures, lifestyles, and collective movements of thought.
I didn’t grow up in the hood, which is a strike against my level of blackness apparently. I can’t really be fully black because I grew up between Maryland and Colorado, going to predominately white and spanish schools. I’ve spent some time in predominately black neighborhoods in the inner city, but I was visiting and not actually living there. Anyone who really knows me (which is only a select few), know that I come from an artistic and cultural diverse background. My dad went to Georgetown Prep and Princeton University, in which he was exposed to the ivy league elements of life, sort of like Carlton Banks (yet my dad doesn’t like to dance).
My dad is a connoisseur of literature, scientific knowledge, and political/social issues that plague the world. Growing up with a dad that is an intellect and being around him (this is my last year at home), it’s no surprise that I have such a dedication to education, knowledge, and achieving success. It’s not just my dad that is well educated and passionate on an intellectual level, my mom is a walking library of art history and black history. It amazes me at how many subjects she is knowledgeable on by her own studies and not because a professor made her study a certain subject. I grew up with parents that always inspired me to seek knowledge and success on my own terms, not waiting for someone to tell me what to learn and how to be successful.
At the age of 20 years old I’ve already been published in a national magazine, graduated early from high school, networked with some influential members of the Black Community, and I’m about to receive my degree in English in Spring 2012. I have plans on writing full time in the field of technical writing or business writing, while saving up money to start an arts center. I have even more goals that are still maneuvering their way throughout my mental framework, but apparently all my ideas and aspirations deem me the label “uppity” and “one of those blacks.”
I shouldn’t have to apologize because Boyz N’ The Hood and Scarface aren’t my favorite movies. I shouldn’t have to keep apologizing for my love of house music, classic rock, dance/electronica, and my passion for Turner Classic Movies. I don’t talk with a white washed dialect, yet apparently my tone of speech isn’t “black enough.” I’m so sick of men who barely have any ambition attempting to make me feel like crap because I’m doing something with my life and have goals. I have so many men always tell me that I’m doing too much with my life or I’m going to be one of those uppity successful blacks. Just because I have a passion for the arts and being successful, it doesn’t mean I’m an uppity negro that turns their back on the Black community. Sometimes the Black community turns their back on me, because I guess I’m never going to be “black enough.”
I should be able to be myself and my success should stand for itself. If a man doesn’t want to be with me because I’m successful, educated, artistic, and have ambitions to live a nice lifestyle, then he can just walk away. I’m not going to sit here and waste time with a guy that may have the nice car, but is lacking in so many other personality departments. I’m sick of the verbal bullying I face from Black men and Black women that come from a different lifestyle than me, but see it fit to treat me like crap.
One thing my parents taught me in life, is that life is too short for people not to be able to have the privilege and beauty to be themselves. It is the beautiful combination of all our unique experiences that makes us who we are. It’s a such a shame that their is still this annoying division within the black community that is constantly tearing people down, especially when people like myself do have a passion for all different lifestyles and I make it a mission to write about them. It’s such a frustrating scenario and it really is a big issue when it comes to my interactions with Black men. I’m not going to change who I am and apologize for my cultural interests, I’d rather continue to be single and wait for the day when an actual man comes my way; a man that understands what it means to be culturally diverse. The real sad part is I know so much of my Black history and I could literally drop some mind blowing knowledge, but it’s not even worth arguing with an ignorant vessel. So for now, I might as well go ahead and be that “uppity negro” that people percieve me to be, at least I can get a job with white folks…LOL…..