Tag Archives: black girl gamer

Finding Me:Thoughts of the Urban Nomad

After lying on my bed for 10minutes staring at my PS3, 360, and Wii, I decided to resort to something productive, which explains why I’m now lying here writing on my blog. I’m still dismayed at the Playstation Network being offline, I mean it’s been 3 days already and still their hasn’t been a confirmed date in which it will be active again. I’m able to function without PSN, but it’s been fascinating reading all these blog posts about the outage and what to do while it’s offline. You’d think the world had ended or something, it’s upset a lot of gamers and those who use their PS3 for movies. I will admit, it has been frustrating not being able to play online with my friends, but it also sheds light on our societal dependence on online communications.

There are so many things that you can do online in our society today, even ordering groceries and having them delivered to your front door. Aside from online dating, there is also services you can hire online and offline that will actually dump that annoying person who’s death grip is clutching your soul. I’d rather break up with someone on my own, but eh some people aren’t skilled in the “raw truth” department. It’s never fun breaking someone’s heart or bursting their bubble, especially when they were more attached then you, but it’s life. Unless your marrying someone and plan on spending your life with them with no paperwork involved, then sooner or later you’ve got to move on to the next relationship.

Online communication is an element that I couldn’t imagine not having in my life, especially considering the fact I’m finishing my degree online due to relocating to the other side of the country. Moving around so much and meeting new people offline and online, I’ve learned a lot about who I am as a person. My 20th birthday is tomorrow and people are shocked I don’t have any major plans. For starters, my Blackberry just got cut off and won’t be back on till Friday. Secondly, turning 20 isn’t a big deal to me, but if I was turning 21 that would be different. I’d want to go to all the clubs that play pure house music and are strictly 21 and up, the clubs I haven’t been able to get into quite yet. I’d spend my birthday dancing the night away and getting lost in the sounds of pure house music. Swaying my voluptuous hips from left to right, and letting my laugh rip through the pulsating beats as I enjoyed being in the company of friends and other house junkies.Then I’d finish the night off with my favorite desert, cheesecake, and a few rounds of video games.

Ah that scenario above sounds like the perfect birthday in my opinion. I’ve learned over the years that I’m a simply complex person. There are so many basic things about me, that branch into deeper classifications and interests. For instance, I love video games, yet I hate playing sports games and prefer first person shooters. I enjoy bright colors, even the occasional bright yellow, except I hate the smell and taste of yellow bananas, they disgust me! Another simple thing about me is I love to read, but that can be broken down into many more complex categories. I love a book with a good story line and passion, but I’m not into reading Zane and other explicit authors. Erotic fiction is nice, but not my cup of tea…I’d rather of hints and pieces of romantic passion, not a full on freak’s come out a night session.

Over the years I’ve come to terms with who I am as a woman and realized there was something different about me. I’m artistic but I’m not running around with tattoos, eccentric clothing, and making a statement on purpose for people to realize I’m an artist. You can be an artist without being a walking canvas, it’s up to your discretion. I have a zest for the arts, yet my clothing style is casual laid back but also glamorous when I’m in the mood to have eyes on me (which I usually don’t care if people notice me or not). I’m always in my own world, even when I’m out and about. When I used to hang out with groups of girls (can’t stand doing that nowadays), the girls would always tell me this guy was looking, that guy is cute, he is trying to holla, etc. I noticed the men but I never paid it any mind, it’s not a big deal. If I was interested, I’d make the visible eye contact, but usually I’m so content in my own space I even forget why I came to the store.

I eventually want someone to love me for who I am, the shining star that never has a dull moment. My ambitions in life aren’t determined by the constraints of social approval, but they are fueled by the passions I’ve discovered in my alone time. When people often let me down with their false promises and foolish agenda’s, I get into my own space. A world where I’m happy writing, reading, playing video games, working out, and listening to house music. People always ask me what I’m into and I sit back, take a deep breathe, and prepare to tell them the script. “My name is Jazz. I’m a writer, an artist, a video game junkie, and I hate when a house songs ends and the room becomes silent.”

My personality isn’t an agenda filled with shallow concepts and goals. I’m not trying to be the next fabulous girl with a bold baller by my side. I’d prefer to be the classic Jasmine McGee, with a tall(prefer someone 6’1” and up) and strong man by my side, someone that can hold me close and tantalize me with intellectual doctrines. I don’t ask for a lot of things in a man, but height is something I’ve learned I can’t do without. While most women want a man that is built a certain way, has no kids, has a good job, nice car, certain amount of money, and is a pretty boy who can make her body feel insane, I only require that the man I’d date be tall and not height challenged (of course a nice smile and handsome face).  My dream man isn’t based upon delicate airbrushed pictures, but rather a reality. I want to fall in love with his brain before I fall in love with his body. Sounds weird to some, but it makes sense to me.

After everything I’ve been through with men and friendships with women, I’ve embraced the true beauty of who I am. My life may seem boring to some, but I enjoy the fact I have a life and I’m not in a cemetery. The cemetery is one of the richest places in the world because it’s filled with dreams that never had a chance to live…I don’t want to be another name on tombstone that lived a life filled with the voices of other people regarding what dreams are appropriate.

Life is too short to spend it trying to live up to the approval of people who don’t even know themselves. You have to learn how to be your own best friend and love yourself, before anyone else can come in and get to know the real you. There have only been a select few people outside my family who have ever attempted to get to know the real me, but once they realize I’m more than just a tall girl who knows how to make people laugh, they are caught off guard and abandon the mission. I don’t think people can ever really make you happy, unless you’ve already fulfilled a substantial amount of happiness within yourself that isn’t based upon the perception of the world.

I know who I am. I’m geeky,funny, bold, allergic to Penicillin,and a  house music junkie. Some days I wish I could be a superhero and some days I imagine that I’m in one of those 1930s classic movies, except instead of me being the house servant, I’m the fabulous leading lady wearing the gorgeous gowns and kissing the leading man who vows to kiss my soul and never let me go. Like I said, I’m simply complex. All I can do is be myself to the fullest and one day hope that I will find those select few people outside my family that can grasp the essence of my personality.

The day a man is able to have an intellectual conversation with me, pray together, and then watch Rocko’s Modern life for hours, followed by Always Sunny, and a round of video games…then I know I’ve found the man I’d be willing to commit to in a relationship.  Until that glorious day arrives, I’m going to continue my journey of loving myself and being the geeky yet artistic woman that my parent’s raised me to be. If being myself isn’t good enough for a world or some man’s opinion of what a dream woman is, then what else can I say? I’m just Jazz…

About these ads

L.A. Noire: An Innovative 40s Thriller

The past two weeks I’ve been playing WWE All Stars and the usual Black Ops team death match and domination circuits. I used to own a lot of games but over time many of them lost my interest and their replay value diminished, so I traded them in. I know you don’t get much for trading in some games, but when I went to game stop two weeks ago I got 74 bucks for trading in two Little Big Planet Game of the Year Editions, some singing game for Ps3, and Resistance 2. I was able to get WWE All Stars and still have money left on my GameStop card. While I was there I asked about the release date of the new Mortal Kombat, which I had pre-ordered the week before. I can’t wait for that game to come out! I played the demo and was literally about to pass out from excitement. That game is sick! I’m going to get to GameStop early that morning and pick it up. I spend a lot of time at GameStop and Micro Center as well. What can I say? I’m kind of a geek!

So while I was having my geeky conversation with the guy behind the counter, the black guy who works there came in and dabbed me up. He’s mad cool and since I just moved to the area, I’m starting to get to know the guys who work there. One of them is nice sometimes but he always has this smug attitude I can’t stand. Eh, whatever. He does help out sometimes though and last time I was in there he told me if I pre-ordered “L.A. Noire” I’d get a bonus stand alone case. How could I resist?! So put five bucks down and since then have been playing WWE All Stars and Black Ops, while reading the latest in gaming news.

There is a lot of great games coming out in 2011 and I’m sure at E3 in June there will be a bunch of hidden surprises. There are games that are rumored to be in the makes but nobody knows for sure, such as GTA 5. Apparently a few weeks ago there was a casting call for voices for a few characters, one named James Pedeaston, who was a child molester in previous GTA games. There is also a need for some other characters that might have a connection to GTA 5, but nobody is quite sure yet. Well I’m sure those who work at Rockstar know but those geeks on the outside (including myself) are in the dark. Yet it is known for sure that Infamous 2, Uncharted 3, Gears of War 3,  and Deux Ex: Human Revolution all have release dates in 2011. I’m excited about all of those titles, especially Gears of War 3 and Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception. Both of those games are on my top favorites list, especially Uncharted. I have so many reasons why I love those games and my favorite games in history, that I will have to devote individual post to them.

Amongst the list of games I love, I’m sure L.A. Noire will become a favorite. I’m a huge fan of period pieces and especially have this fascination with the 1930s and LA-Noire-Screen1940s. I’ve seen some great detective movies set on the 30s and 40s on TCM and I enjoy playing games set in that time. The Godfather was fun to play but it didn’t offer the perks that L.A. Noire promises to deliver. The game is set in Hollywood’s post-war 1947 Golden Era.  It’s not just another 40s gangster game in which you drive around town shooting people, exhorting business owners, and hang out with dames (ladies). This innovative game explores the meaning of being an LAPD detective in the 40s, a time filled with corruption, racketeering, murder, mafia, dirty cops, and other conspiracies.

Instead of playing as Nico Bellic with a dramatic Russian accent or CJ and kickin’ it with his homies over on Grove Street, we are introduced to Cole Phelps. He is a rookie cop in the LAPD force and is working his way up through the ranks of the LAPD. You get to experience his character growth and make or break his rise to higher ranks. The cool thing about L.A. Noire is it’s mixture of adventure, strategy, thriller, and action. It’s like watching a movie, except you get to control the actions and make decisions. This game relies on critical thinking and treats the gamer as if they actually are a real life decision. It’s like a 40s episode of Law Order, except with a rapper playing a cop.

The game isn’t mainly based on missions and levels, but more so a series of cases that you must solve through the usage of clue finding and interrogation. Each time you solve a case you unlock challenges and clues that will bring you closer to the ruthlessness of Hollywood’s Golden Era and organized crime. Every case involves intense blending of action and detective work, which makes for an innovative game that is bound to have replay value.

Yet the most innovative aspect of this game is Rockstar and Team Bondi’s usage of “Motion Scan.” This breakthrough technology is responsible for creating the level of realism scene in the facial expressions of L.A. Noire’s characters. Basically the actors sit in the middle of a circle, comprised of cameras capturing their every facial move and body movement. The camera’s are surrounding the actor and capture close ups from 360 degrees. While the actors deliver their lines, they are being recreated simultaneously in 3d. This results in realistic facial movement, which is key to discerning truths and lies in L.A. Noire detective work.

With it’s utilization of breakthrough technology “Motion Scan”, L.A. Noire is setting a new trend for next generation gaming. The combination of an old school 40s concept and the integration of futuristic technology, this game is going to be one of Rockstar Games most talked about products. I can’t wait to get my hands on L.A. Noire and the bonus content. If only May 17th 2011 was a few days away and not a month. Until then, I’ll have to keep watching 40s detective movies and mentally solve crimes on Law and Order: SVU. If Ice T gets to play a cop, then why shouldn’t  we?

la_noire_screenshot_ps3_191 L.A.Noire is 2011’s groundbreaking crime thriller and until it’s release date, we are being teased with breathtaking trailers and exclusive game footage. Check it out for yourself and be sure to place your order for L.A. Noire.

 

 

A glimpse into the game and the story.
Innovative!!
Released a few days ago. This game looks great!

Black Girl Gamer and Fashionista: What a Combo!

It’s no surprise to most them I’m considered not your “average black girl”. I maintain the title of being a freelance writer,  artist, female gamer, intellect, and fashionista. Amidst all my creative endeavors, most view me as a fairytale. I’m constantly bombarded with the usual “Oh, are you a real person?” or “I didn’t know black women like you even existed!”. Is it that rare nowadays to find a young black woman, or to be politically correct “African-American” woman who doesn’t idolize the falsified images in media?

I’ve had the opportunity to interview ask black men ages 20-27 what their definition of the typical black woman is, and furthermore how I’m exempt from the category. After years of gathering mental data, I’ve got their answers down to a science. I spoke with someone a few days ago and they were blown away by our conversation. They had never had so much fun speaking to a young black woman who was able to be feminine and still on the cutting edge of “manly” interests.

Just because I love playing Assassins Creed: Brotherhood and Killzone 2 for six hours, doesn’t mean I’m not capable of possessing a feminine charm. There have countless occasions where I have played my Ps3 with freshly painted nails; attempting to unlock new trophies without getting a splash of fire engine red on the sleek black controller.

You don’t have to exude a macho attitude to play videogames or to like martial arts movies. People tend to get caught up in stereotypes and when they meet someone who defies their ideologies, and they aren’t sure how to handle it. A  lot of the social commentary I’ve heard from black men is that they are tired of Nicki Minaj and diva women who treat men as if they are immature because they enjoy to have fun. They are used to most black women having kids, listening to only commercial hip-hop, wanting a man that is a baller, and having a nasty selfish attitude. That’s such a stereotypical judgment! Not all black women can be categorized like that, to expand it further…most women of any race can fall into some of those qualities. I’ve met women of other races that are just as shallow and personify a diva. I’ve met women of other races that only want a baller and don’t want to be independent, but prefer to gold dig and find a man for his status….not the size of his heart or his charming personality.

I’ve come to accept my title of being “not the average black girl”. Yes, I listen to classic rock, yes I love cartoons and videogames more than going shopping (not always though!), and yes I don’t have any kids or a nasty attitude. The color of my skin says I’m black, but my interests are international and not of the conventional ethnic woman. Well, there isn’t anything I can do about it. I’m going to keep pressing forward and being beautifully unique. I’m going to keep pre-ordering the latest games for my ps3 and 360, I’m going to continue staying up till 4 am watching Rockos Modern Life and Martial arts movies, and I’m going to half the day Friday shopping and the other half working on my book and some paintings.

My name is Jasmine McGee and I’m an eccentric artsy black female gamer. I don’t have a high pitched anime voice and I don’t dress like a boy in goth clothing. I’m beautiful, fearless, creative, and always ready to go head to head in any video game. I’m not “your average black girl”… I’m just being myself, not confined to the stereotypes of my skin color. So you either love it or hate it…to be honest I don’t care what you do. Just don’t try to have a serious conversation with me while playing COD….I’ll be on another planet and the next shuttle to earth won’t be back until 3am.