Some mornings I wake up and wish I had superpowers. It would just be amazing to have super strength and fly around, but then go out into society and remain incognito. Nobody would ever know my true identity; unless a charming gentleman swept me off my feet and I invited him into my “real” world.
Of course having superpowers is entirely a fictional concept, but it doesn’t stop me from daydreaming. I don’t have an alter ego like Wonder Woman (Diana Prince) but there are certain aspects of my life that are really “hush hush.” For instance, one of the things a lot of people don’t know about me is the fact I collect coffee mugs and love Wonder Woman. I know a lot of females say she is their favorite super heroine, but for me it’s deeper than her just being a female idol.
Wonder Woman is the epitome of the powerful, beautiful, and bold tall woman. I love her because she represents for the Amazons out there. I know I’m only 6-feet tall and there are women a lot taller out there, but when I’m wearing heels I tower at 6’3”, sometimes 6’4.” I used to be weary about my height as I was growing up, but Wonder Woman became sort of a fictional inspiration. Her values and attitude made me proud to be a tall Amazon; which is why I know collect Wonder Woman mugs and have been inspired to start expanding my coffee mug collection to include other retro mugs.
But my passion for Wonder Woman and collecting coffee mugs isn’t the only thing a lot of people don’t know about. One of my huge guilty pleasures is 80′s/90s love songs and the crooning voices of Rick Astley, Phil Collins, Steve Winwood, Michael Mcdonald, Michael Bolton, and George Michael. I love listening to those guys singing their love confessions; it’s totally awesome! Before I even got into Always Sunny in Philly I had been jamming to Rick Astley and cheesing at his duster. He always seems to be wearing some type of duster/trenchcoat and doing this geeky dance; I love it!
Rick Astley, George Michael, Michael Mcdonald, and Michael Bolton are some of the artists that I consider my “guilty pleasure.” I usually don’t like to admit I love their music, but I can’t help that it’s a guilty pleasure. You should have seen me yesterday, I was on fire! I watched Dirty Dancing for the first time and I cried. I’m the type of woman that doesn’t like to get all emotional and cry, but I began crying when Patrick Swayze (God rest his soul…) had to say goodbye to Baby and the song he wrote “She’s Like the Wind” was playing in the background. I got so emotional and began thinking about romance, falling in love, and one day finding a guy that can inspire me to commit and take a relationship serious.
Dirty Dancing is officially up there with my favorite love stories, including Ever After, Sleepless in Seattle, and You’ve Got Mail. I was always so ashamed of being a sucker for romance and getting emotional, but sometimes a woman can’t help but to cry. I just cry, then go annihilate people on Black Ops and Resistance; that’s how it has to be done. Get emotional, move on and do damage on something that doesn’t allow weakness. I’m not saying crying is necessarily a sign of weakness, but some some women just cry over everything and it annoys the hell out of me. When I cried yesterday while watching Dirty Dancing, that was the first I’ve cried in six months. I’m just not big on tearing up unless I’ve lost an eyelash.
But what can I say? My guilty pleasure for 80s love ballads and Dirty Dancing, along with other love stories, make me emotional at times. I rarely show my sensitive side because I’m usually on my grind and too busy dealing with life, but I do have a vulnerable woman inside that does believe in love at first sight and magical romance; it just isn’t my time to have that and I’m so okay with that. Being single is great! I do get lonely sometimes, but I’m just focused on being the best me I can be. I live each day being productive and getting closer to my dreams, but in the midst of my determination, I like to enjoy my guilty pleasures and sing along to Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” and “Whenever You Need Somebody.”I don’t need anybody right now, but one day I know I’ll need a good man in my life that can laugh and love my guilty pleasures.
I love this song!!!!!
I absolutely love being single! My life is so carefree right now, all I have to worry about is me. I don’t have to put time or effort into a guy that I kind of like, but don’t find myself being totally into him. I’m just not in the mindset right now to get attached to anyone, it’s just not happening. Of course I’ve met some decent guys that are somewhat charming, but they aren’t impressive enough for me to actually consider giving up my single life. For the first time in a long time, I’m really content with my life; I am truly liberated and soaking up my freedom.
I have this new amazing fitness plan I start once I move in on Saturday and on top of fitness, I’m doing well in school and I have a writing gig that pays weekly. Life is good right now. The only way I can see myself putting a man into the equation is if he meets my criteria. 1.) Well educated 2.) funny 3.) ambitious 4.) spiritual and 5.) tall. You’d think that this would be easy to find, but a lot of guys that try talking to me either get super attached and clingy or they just continue to bore me with conversation about how nice I look and how much they like me. It’s like ugh, I get it, move on. No need to always talk about how I look and the same boring things. Can we please have a mature adult conversation beyond looks? How about we discuss art, politics, or even fitness.
Boring conversation is a major turn off to me, followed by immature attachment. It’s not even that I have commitment problems, because when I’m in a relationship I don’t mind hanging in there and making it work. The major issue is when guys I’m not really feeling like all that just want to jump the gun and get uber clingy. Not cool. That pushes me away, especially in the mindset I’m in right now.
Being single is such a liberating feeling. I’m in my last year of college, I’m finding myself, and a year from now I will be off having a whole new life. Once I get settled into life after college, living on my own, and working a normal 9 to 5, then I’ll be open to the idea of meeting other educated singles that are career driven and have a similar lifestyle. But for now, I’m not even thinking about becoming exclusive with anybody. Eh, no thank you.
I’m all for having male friends, but so many of them see that I’m a beautiful young educated woman and just want to make me their girl. Why can’t you just appreciate my worth and not trying to tie me down in a relationship? I won’t lie, in the past I’ve quickly jumped into relationships with guys that had everything I wanted, but that is the past. Right now I’m enjoying living my life, no strings attached, and making my dreams come true. I just don’t have any time for a commitment or attachment, especially with someone clingy. I just don’t want to be in a relationship right now and I definitely don’t want to seriously date. Dating should be fun, no pressure, just having a good time meeting new people.But the way things are right now, I’m so content with taking a break from going on dates and just enjoying being single and focusing on the things that matter most, my life.
Single, single, and hmm…single. For so many years I kept trying to fight being single and force myself to take on the responsibility of a relationship. I was ignoring my instinct to date around, I was settling for relationships with guys I didn’t really care about.
Now I find myself single and completely content. I remember seeing a Tweet on Twitter a few months ago and it absolutely explained what “single” is all about. “SINGLE is NOT a status. It’s a word that best describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.” Yet, many mistake being single for being completely alone with twenty cats and watching Lifetime True movie Thursdays. Being single isn’t this depressing status and it shouldn’t always be associated with a lack of good looks and horrible luck in attracting men (that’s definitely not an issue for me.) You can be single, confident, beautiful, living life to the fullest, and not some depressing loser.
Being single is this wonderful opportunity that I think men and women should cherish. Don’t try to force yourself into a relationship because all your friends are getting boo’d up. Say no to peer pressure! There is nothing wrong with being single and casually dating without any impending commitment. I love the feeling I get when I go on a date with a guy and at the end there is no expectation of planning or wedding and what part of the country we’d like to live in. That is too much pressure! There is no need to go on and on about the possibility of us having a future, I’m not sure if I want to finish the last twenty minutes of this date.
I miss the days when men knew how to casually date and not take things so serious. It seems every date I’ve gone on throughout this summer has ended up with men trying to snatch me up and make me their women by the end of the first date. The worst thing would be when they asked me on a second date and for an entire week straight they would call me, text me, and keep talking about how great our date was. Ugh, stop acting like a giddy little school girl!
There is nothing wrong with liking a person and finding them interesting, but don’t put so much pressure on it. I mean I can understand if perhaps you’re at that point in your life where you’re ready to settle down, but I’m not at that point. I’m so not ready to give my life to someone else. I’m ready to explore and see the world on my own before I get tied down to a guy who works at Radio Shack and expects me to motivate him to do more with his life. A man should take time to work on himself and be sure he has something solid to offer a woman. I’m taking this single time to finish my undergrad and go to graduate school next year. I’m motivated to do something, so I’m not going to sit their and babysit you with motivation. Figure it out before you try to walk me down the aisle.
After having one drink or going on one date, I don’t want to sit down and discuss our wedding plans. You’re wasting your time getting attached with nicknames such as baby, sweetie, my girl, and boo (I hate that nickname.) It’s not that I’m against a relationship and I have this ultimate goal to be single and fabulous at the age of 40, but I just like going with the flow when I’m dating. Just because we kiss or make-out in the heat of the moment, it truly doesn’t mean we are going to be together forever. If I show you a little bit of interest or listen to your stories, it doesn’t at all signal you to step into boo mode and get all lovey dovey/boo’d up with me.
Our generation seriously needs to calm down and stop rushing down the aisle. You have to make sure you can support a relationship physically, emotionally, and financially. I met so many men in Colorado and here in Maryland who want to hurry up and find that main chick. They basically give up on their dreams (if they even had any) and get all boo’d up with a woman that isn’t really doing much with her life either. They struggle super hard financially and never get back to school or a career beyond minimum wage. I’m not just siting judging from what I’ve heard, I personally know over 10 men who have had this happen to them. It’s ridiculous!
It’s so hard building a future with someone when you don’t have an economic plan set in place. Finances are one of the top reasons why relationships are affected. It’s hard to truly be all boo’d up and lovey/dovey when neither person is fulfilling their true potential as a human being. I’ve seen resentment set in and it’s not a pretty scenario. Rushing to marriage at such a young age is often impulsive and reckless. I’m personally not going to put my self in a situation where I decided to forget graduate school and focus all my attention on some guy who keeps thinking about going to school, but doesn’t even have a dream at all outside of education. You can be a successful person without education, but you have to seriously have a dream and commit to it.
I’ve been homeless before and I know that struggling isn’t any fun. I don’t want to rush into a union with a man and not be mentally and financially ready. I have dreams that I’d like to at least get into motion before someone puts a ring on my finger. I think I’d like to build with someone later down the line, but we both should have a solid foundation to work with. Yet so many men I encounter are so eager to rush into a relationship and get all boo’d up. They don’t think about the ramifications of their decisions and they don’t take into account the possibility they should focus on themselves before trying to get married.
I’m honestly really sick of men, who barely have their life together, trying to get with me and start a serious relationship with marriage in sight. I’d rather be alone and casually date without the pressure. When I’m ready to get serious, then I’ll take my dates more serious. But for now, I have no interest in getting boo’d up. There is no need for me to commit to you when I’m so focused on graduating, graduate school, and taking my career to the next level.
So this is my open letter to all the men out there who are eager to hurry up and get with a woman, calm down! You should honestly examine your life and see if you are even in the right mindset and situation to get into a relationship in hopes of getting married. It’s not about making sure you’ve got a baller wallet, but it’s about having the ability to sustain a relationship on various levels. Before you think about getting really attached to a woman, make sure you’re not just acting impulsive. Make sure you can provide for her, yourself, and are living out your dreams. Life is too short and your dream is just as important as hers.
Recently my grandfather passed away and he encouraged me, in the last few years of his life, to make sure I live my dream, get an education, and be the best that God wanted me to be. Maybe for some of you young men, you don’t have a father in your life and your trying to establish a family quickly in order to fix mistakes that were made in your life. My encouragement to you is to live your dream. Get training, education, and be the best man you can be for an honest future you want with a woman that will come in your life. How do you expect me to trust in you and take you serious, when you don’t even have a dream? I shouldn’t be the only one in a relationship working hard on my career and making my dreams come true, I’m not down for that. If that is what being boo’d up looks like for some of you men, then I want no part of it.
I was scrolling through my pictures earlier and ran across this photo to the right. That’s a picture of me attempting to look
sexy cute at the age of 14. It was that time of life when I was growing out of the girl playing video games and realizing that I could attract men for my looks and personality; it’s not all about trying to impress guys with video game lingo. Yet, with that being said;I am and will always be a female gamer, but it’s time to sort of grow up.
I’ve reached that point where I’m beginning to realize that I have the body of a woman( especially since I’m losing weight, things are starting to look a lot more grown and sexy lol) and I need to rediscover my passion for fashion. Being a college student and focused on making sure everything is right so I can graduate in Spring 2012,I’ve neglected my desire to show off that grown and sexy side. I used to collect every issue of Vogue and dreamed of working in the fashion industry, but then I discovered my passion for writing about topics aside from fashion. I may have let that dream of working in the fashion industry go, but that doesn’t mean I can’t revamp my style and feel fabulous.
The more time I spend alone and not distracted by a relationship, I begin to realize that I’m still not the woman I want to be yet. I’m happy with my personality, my curvy body, and my pursuit of knowledge; but at times I feel as though I could be doing more in the looks department to bring out the best of my beauty and feel fabulous. I have good fashion sense and know what accentuates my curvy figure, but I need to upgrade my color palette and choices. Now more than ever is the best time to reinvent myself, because that gives me almost a year before I enter the professional workforce, get my own apartment, and begin my wonderful grown and sexy life.
The more I grow into the fabulous woman I want to be, I also know for a fact that I’ll attract the type of men I like. I’ve been slacking lately with my style and wearing clothes from last year of college (which are too big now,) the more I just throw outfits together, the more lame and sloppy guys I attract. They may be attractive from an aesthetic standpoint but their
clothing swag needs a major upgrade. But the worst guys are the ones who have terrible style and don’t bother trying at all. At least my college clothes may not be grown and sexy, but they still are by all means cute outfits. But I don’t want to aim for cute at this point, I love that feeling of looking: gorgeous, fabulous, sexy, mature, classy, and looking like a beautiful woman.
This reinvention process I’m going through is ultimately a journey of self discovery. I’m discovering my passion for vibrant colors and accessories, while learning the type of men I find attractive and what turns me off style wise. Everything isn’t about looks, but dressing nice and looking fabulous can say a lot about someone’s personality, profession, self esteem, and their level of maturity. I’m growing out of the days of just wearing leggings and tunics to show of my figure. It’s time to step up my game and embrace my desire to wear pencil skirts, blouses, more lipstick (I wear it everyday, but want to play with different hues,) and heels. I’m always ashamed to wear heels because of the nagging complaints I hear from incompetent short men who make my height an issue. Well I’m at this point where I’m so over it; I’m going to wear heels and not be ashamed of my long legs and height.
I’m not going to be ashamed to explore being a beautiful and fabulous woman. There’s nothing wrong with taking a step back and realizing “Hey, I need to grow up.” I’ve already begun my transition into the professional world, yet until I graduate I still have that time to mold myself into a beautiful classy woman. Everyone woman and man at some point in their life realizes they need to upgrade their look. You get what you put out there, and if you’re dressing like you don’t care…then most likely you’re going to attract people that don’t take pride in their looks either. It’s about loving you and not being so caught up in a relationship, that you forget to work on you and become the best person you can be. Being single is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I’m so happy I’m taking this time to enjoy the journey.
Each day I’m blossoming into the mature woman I want to be and I find myself discovering the type of man I’d eventually like to get to know. I love a man that dresses nice and takes pride in his look. You don’t have to possess millionaire swag to get my attention, but you sure can’t be wearing Walmart t-shirts with South Park logos and overly baggy jeans each time I see you; that’s not going to cut it in my book. If you’re just getting to know someone you have to remember that first impressions count, don’t pull out the sloppy clothes until farther down the road. Even then, you shouldn’t just let yourself go and not care anymore because you’ve snagged the one. I care about how I look because I love looking and feeling gorgeous; if I happen to attract men in the process, then that’s just a perk of taking pride in my looks.
It’s not about trying to be the most flashy person out there based upon the images we see in media, but its about you loving yourself and being the best person you can be. This process of reinventing myself is honestly way overdue and it’s a journey of becoming the true person that has been hidden away for the past few years. I’m not changing my personality at all, but rather letting my clothes and accessories reflect the intimate details of my vibrant personality. Be yourself, be free, and take a chance on enhancing your true beauty. So to all the single girls and guys out there reading this blog, don’t forget to appreciate the time you have being single and becoming the person you want to be. If you take the time to find yourself, then you won’t have to worry about getting caught up in a relationship and forgetting who you are; your security and confidence will have had the time to grow prior to the relationship. So have fun, be fabulous, and never apologize for wanting to bring out the best in yourself.