The greatest thing about being 20 years old is the ability to admit I don’t know everything, and I’m still on a abstract exploration of life. Even though I can’t wait to be 21 and be able to finally enjoy … Continue reading
I absolutely love being single! My life is so carefree right now, all I have to worry about is me. I don’t have to put time or effort into a guy that I kind of like, but don’t find myself … Continue reading
Single, single, and hmm…single. For so many years I kept trying to fight being single and force myself to take on the responsibility of a relationship. I was ignoring my instinct to date around, I was settling for relationships with guys I didn’t really care about.
Now I find myself single and completely content. I remember seeing a Tweet on Twitter a few months ago and it absolutely explained what “single” is all about. “SINGLE is NOT a status. It’s a word that best describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.” Yet, many mistake being single for being completely alone with twenty cats and watching Lifetime True movie Thursdays. Being single isn’t this depressing status and it shouldn’t always be associated with a lack of good looks and horrible luck in attracting men (that’s definitely not an issue for me.) You can be single, confident, beautiful, living life to the fullest, and not some depressing loser.
Being single is this wonderful opportunity that I think men and women should cherish. Don’t try to force yourself into a relationship because all your friends are getting boo’d up. Say no to peer pressure! There is nothing wrong with being single and casually dating without any impending commitment. I love the feeling I get when I go on a date with a guy and at the end there is no expectation of planning or wedding and what part of the country we’d like to live in. That is too much pressure! There is no need to go on and on about the possibility of us having a future, I’m not sure if I want to finish the last twenty minutes of this date.
I miss the days when men knew how to casually date and not take things so serious. It seems every date I’ve gone on throughout this summer has ended up with men trying to snatch me up and make me their women by the end of the first date. The worst thing would be when they asked me on a second date and for an entire week straight they would call me, text me, and keep talking about how great our date was. Ugh, stop acting like a giddy little school girl!
There is nothing wrong with liking a person and finding them interesting, but don’t put so much pressure on it. I mean I can understand if perhaps you’re at that point in your life where you’re ready to settle down, but I’m not at that point. I’m so not ready to give my life to someone else. I’m ready to explore and see the world on my own before I get tied down to a guy who works at Radio Shack and expects me to motivate him to do more with his life. A man should take time to work on himself and be sure he has something solid to offer a woman. I’m taking this single time to finish my undergrad and go to graduate school next year. I’m motivated to do something, so I’m not going to sit their and babysit you with motivation. Figure it out before you try to walk me down the aisle.
After having one drink or going on one date, I don’t want to sit down and discuss our wedding plans. You’re wasting your time getting attached with nicknames such as baby, sweetie, my girl, and boo (I hate that nickname.) It’s not that I’m against a relationship and I have this ultimate goal to be single and fabulous at the age of 40, but I just like going with the flow when I’m dating. Just because we kiss or make-out in the heat of the moment, it truly doesn’t mean we are going to be together forever. If I show you a little bit of interest or listen to your stories, it doesn’t at all signal you to step into boo mode and get all lovey dovey/boo’d up with me.
Our generation seriously needs to calm down and stop rushing down the aisle. You have to make sure you can support a relationship physically, emotionally, and financially. I met so many men in Colorado and here in Maryland who want to hurry up and find that main chick. They basically give up on their dreams (if they even had any) and get all boo’d up with a woman that isn’t really doing much with her life either. They struggle super hard financially and never get back to school or a career beyond minimum wage. I’m not just siting judging from what I’ve heard, I personally know over 10 men who have had this happen to them. It’s ridiculous!
It’s so hard building a future with someone when you don’t have an economic plan set in place. Finances are one of the top reasons why relationships are affected. It’s hard to truly be all boo’d up and lovey/dovey when neither person is fulfilling their true potential as a human being. I’ve seen resentment set in and it’s not a pretty scenario. Rushing to marriage at such a young age is often impulsive and reckless. I’m personally not going to put my self in a situation where I decided to forget graduate school and focus all my attention on some guy who keeps thinking about going to school, but doesn’t even have a dream at all outside of education. You can be a successful person without education, but you have to seriously have a dream and commit to it.
I’ve been homeless before and I know that struggling isn’t any fun. I don’t want to rush into a union with a man and not be mentally and financially ready. I have dreams that I’d like to at least get into motion before someone puts a ring on my finger. I think I’d like to build with someone later down the line, but we both should have a solid foundation to work with. Yet so many men I encounter are so eager to rush into a relationship and get all boo’d up. They don’t think about the ramifications of their decisions and they don’t take into account the possibility they should focus on themselves before trying to get married.
I’m honestly really sick of men, who barely have their life together, trying to get with me and start a serious relationship with marriage in sight. I’d rather be alone and casually date without the pressure. When I’m ready to get serious, then I’ll take my dates more serious. But for now, I have no interest in getting boo’d up. There is no need for me to commit to you when I’m so focused on graduating, graduate school, and taking my career to the next level.
So this is my open letter to all the men out there who are eager to hurry up and get with a woman, calm down! You should honestly examine your life and see if you are even in the right mindset and situation to get into a relationship in hopes of getting married. It’s not about making sure you’ve got a baller wallet, but it’s about having the ability to sustain a relationship on various levels. Before you think about getting really attached to a woman, make sure you’re not just acting impulsive. Make sure you can provide for her, yourself, and are living out your dreams. Life is too short and your dream is just as important as hers.
Recently my grandfather passed away and he encouraged me, in the last few years of his life, to make sure I live my dream, get an education, and be the best that God wanted me to be. Maybe for some of you young men, you don’t have a father in your life and your trying to establish a family quickly in order to fix mistakes that were made in your life. My encouragement to you is to live your dream. Get training, education, and be the best man you can be for an honest future you want with a woman that will come in your life. How do you expect me to trust in you and take you serious, when you don’t even have a dream? I shouldn’t be the only one in a relationship working hard on my career and making my dreams come true, I’m not down for that. If that is what being boo’d up looks like for some of you men, then I want no part of it.
Hey world, or perhaps the select few who continue to read my rants and revelations, how’s it going? I haven’t really been blogging much the past few days, just been in this mental space of figuring life out and analyzing my emotions.
For most of my life I’ve always chased after guys or had some type of male interaction, but for the first time I’m not trippin’ over my current situation. I’ve got to the point where I’m sick of entertaining and dealing with men that are just lame, they may look good, but their personality is so dull. Literally, I’d rather get inside of a Donkey Kong barrel and roll down a hill, while the barrel is on fire, instead of hanging with guys who are lifeless. That scenario may seem highly dangerous and it is true, my hair and body would probably catch on fire, but I’m just saying…some guys I meet are that dull and depressing and push me to seek high octane activities.
I’m thinking of taking up tennis lessons or rock climbing, at least it would give me a great cardio and strength workout. I have so many things I really want to accomplish and the hassle of a relationship turns me off. I’m not in the mood to call someone all the time, to worry about there whereabouts, to make sure I don’t flirt with a certain guy on my FB wall (I’m a flirt), and I’m not in the mood to waste time with a guy who doesn’t spark my interest.
It’s not like I don’t meet, in person, online, and through networking. Every week I’m engaging in some type of male connection, even if it’s the guy at the grocery store trying to make small talk (those moments always feel so forced). I don’t mind small talk but it’s frustrating when it feels forced, as if the person stood there glancing at me from a distance ,thinking of the right combination of words in order to grasp my attention. I’m not one for cliche lines and compliments that could have easily come from a Drake song. Those type of antics immediately turn me off, even if the guy is the finest specimen I’ve ever seen, I’m still turned off by the lack of originality.
Being single is a great mental state for me to be in right, especially considering the fact I just haven’t found what I’m looking for. I love men with a passion, especially different flavors and ambitions. I love men to an extent that I don’t even blog about, I could literally sit here and discuss men all day and my personal experiences, but I like to leave some things a mystery. To be honest I just haven’t found a guy worth me taking serious to the point of committing and seriously meaning it. But even though I’m not looking for a relationship, I still occasionally go on dates. I may not want something serious, but I do have some very close guy friends and I’m always open to more, depending on the personality. I can’t stand men that are nerdy and sarcastic, I just want to punch them in their boney arms. See, there is a difference between a nerd and a geek. A nerd will talk a whole bunch of stuff and be all sarcastic about solving a problem, but a geek will just touch basis on it and then solve the problem right then and there. Geeks are action oriented, nerds are more concerned about using as many words in the dictionary in order to explain the process of a virus scan.
I’ve never in my life been a nerd and nerdy men turn me off in a major way. Yes, I am slightly geeky but my dominant personality traits are artistic. But nerds can be so annoying and mean to me. It’s not the fact they may not have the best style or they may be super skinny, but it’s that nasty sarcastic attitude. I may be sarcastic but I don’t analyze every little thing people say and try to correct them. Can’t stand that! I also can’t stand men that really aren’t that impressive and I’m especially not sexually attracted to them, but they try to be so macho. They flaunt the clothes, the car they have in there name and not their mom’s, and then they brag about how much of intellect and classy they are. Dude, I don’t care about any of that crap you have, I got my own stuff and don’t need to be with a man because of his nice car and how classy he is.
Anyone who truly knows me, understands that I’m a renaissance woman. I thrive off the arts and culture, I don’t thrive off of materialistic expression. I care about the meanings behind a painting instead of it’s monetary value and I’m more concerned with how a car can impact the environment, rather then the cost of it. My passion in life surrounds the arts and I’d rather be single for a very long time then be with a guy who doesn’t understand the arts. If I say I’m working on a painting or want to see an art show, don’t just say “Oh, okay. That’s cool.” I hate those shallow responses that don’t hold any depth and don’t elaborate on my statement. At that point I just end the conversation with an excuse or say I’m not feeling it and walk away.
So I may not be able to find a guy who sparks my interest right now, so what? It’s not the end of the world being single, and the world didn’t end yesterday, so I’m sure I still have time to figure things out. I just wanted to get all this stuff out of my head and into a written format, so if you’re wondering how I’m feeling in life right now, well now you know. I’m single and not trippin’. I’m not looking for another lame and dull relationship with a guy who looks okay but lacks that height I’m attracted to or doesn’t have a sense of humor that meshes with mine. I’m artistic, raw, witty, passionate, aggressive, romantic, avant-garde, and I’m a single woman trying to graduate college and set up a life for myself. I still go on dates every now and then, meeting some cool guys who I’m still getting to know, but their is no rush. I’ve got a lot of time and the world hasn’t ended yet, so I’ve still got the time to maybe fall in love and seriously mean it.
*Since the world didn’t end yesterday, here is one of my favorite work out songs.*
Britney Spears: Till the World Ends