Tag Archives: being a geek

Awesomesauce & the Art of Being Geeky Chic

I’m a lover of all things artsy, but I’m also a lover of all things geeky with a hint of delicate chic. I’m not one of those females that compromises my femininity in order to enjoy videogames and geek culture. I still love sassing it up and looking glamorous, but the lingo that comes out of my mouth is often a shock to most folks. It’s not that I go around talking random “manly” topics, but my conversation is just uber down to earth, geeky, random, and imaginative.

Now I will admit that when I was in middle school and high school I tried to suppress my personality in order to fit in with the rest of the “normal” girls that all the guys wanted, but no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t hide my exuberant characteristics. I still always felt like an outcast and a lot of the so called “normal” and “popular” girls always found a way to tease me. You’d think that me being like basically 6ft tall and thick would put some fear in their eyes, but they were just idiots. There were so many girls in middle school and high school I just wanted to smash their skulls in, but I just tried to ignore the robotic drones and focused on discovering the art of being geeky chic, which in my opinion is pure awesomesauce at it’s finest quality.

It’s not like I walk around wearing “weird” clothes, but my personality is just this compilation of confident art and abstract enthusiasm. I don’t live my life like an obsolete apology waiting to be accepted, yet I opt for living a life filled with the elbow room to explore the creative gears churning inside my noggin. Oh yeah, I should also mention that my declaration of being geeky chic and high on awesomesauce, is a declaration that wouldn’t be complete unless I told you that I’m extremely blunt. I’m not a sarcastic prick or a bitchy asshole, but I don’t hold back my thoughts. A lot of guys I dated used to complain that I never really opened up and seemed vulnerable, so I decided “You know what, they have a valid point. So let me start speaking my mind and not hiding my artistic-geek-chic desires.” Instead of showing off a few aspects of my personality in order not to seem “weird” or too avant-garde, I often found myself still being me but not letting the cat out of the bag.

The art of being a female geek and understanding how to cultivate an aura that is totally awesomesauce is one that I’ve finally gotten down to a science. I’m all about letting the cat out of the bag, and I don’t mean that term in the usual negative connotation of unleashing a secret. For me, the term means to just be upfront and honest with the type of woman I am. I’m glad that I’ve figured it out now at such a young age, rather than spending the next 10 to 15 years of my life still trying to find my personality. I know me. I know the pieces that put me together. I know my humor. I know my attitude. I know what works, and I also know what doesn’t work for me. Trying to be this glamorous chick who’s always on point and has this seemingly “flawless” vibe is something that doesn’t work for me.

I’m at the point now where you honestly either get me or you don’t. In the subculture of being a proclaimed geek and artist, there is no concealing of innate character; which is what makes awesomesauce so epic and awesome. A person who has become one with their true identity and isn’t ashamed to share it with the world is someone that bathes in awesomesauce. It’s like you just don’t care if people accept you or not, because at the end of the day you’re still going to have that zone of immeasurable creativity that feeds your soul. Craving the attention of someone’s else affirmation is a tasteless task that I’d rather not embark on.

The art of being who I am is entirely an abstract aura of ingenuity, liberation, geeky chic, and a tantalizing body wash called AwesomeSauce. The basic ingredients are: no explanations, no apologizing, a dosage of fearlessness, vibrant color spectrum, a list of “what if”s in case zombies ever attacked, three favorite superpowers, a worldly musical ear, and a stable addiction to videogames. You can take or add from these ingredients, but at the end of the day it’s still going to be a creative fusion of awesomesauce.

©Jasmine McGee.ThinkSoul25. http://thinksoul25.com

Finding Me:Thoughts of the Urban Nomad

After lying on my bed for 10minutes staring at my PS3, 360, and Wii, I decided to resort to something productive, which explains why I’m now lying here writing on my blog. I’m still dismayed at the Playstation Network being offline, I mean it’s been 3 days already and still their hasn’t been a confirmed date in which it will be active again. I’m able to function without PSN, but it’s been fascinating reading all these blog posts about the outage and what to do while it’s offline. You’d think the world had ended or something, it’s upset a lot of gamers and those who use their PS3 for movies. I will admit, it has been frustrating not being able to play online with my friends, but it also sheds light on our societal dependence on online communications.

There are so many things that you can do online in our society today, even ordering groceries and having them delivered to your front door. Aside from online dating, there is also services you can hire online and offline that will actually dump that annoying person who’s death grip is clutching your soul. I’d rather break up with someone on my own, but eh some people aren’t skilled in the “raw truth” department. It’s never fun breaking someone’s heart or bursting their bubble, especially when they were more attached then you, but it’s life. Unless your marrying someone and plan on spending your life with them with no paperwork involved, then sooner or later you’ve got to move on to the next relationship.

Online communication is an element that I couldn’t imagine not having in my life, especially considering the fact I’m finishing my degree online due to relocating to the other side of the country. Moving around so much and meeting new people offline and online, I’ve learned a lot about who I am as a person. My 20th birthday is tomorrow and people are shocked I don’t have any major plans. For starters, my Blackberry just got cut off and won’t be back on till Friday. Secondly, turning 20 isn’t a big deal to me, but if I was turning 21 that would be different. I’d want to go to all the clubs that play pure house music and are strictly 21 and up, the clubs I haven’t been able to get into quite yet. I’d spend my birthday dancing the night away and getting lost in the sounds of pure house music. Swaying my voluptuous hips from left to right, and letting my laugh rip through the pulsating beats as I enjoyed being in the company of friends and other house junkies.Then I’d finish the night off with my favorite desert, cheesecake, and a few rounds of video games.

Ah that scenario above sounds like the perfect birthday in my opinion. I’ve learned over the years that I’m a simply complex person. There are so many basic things about me, that branch into deeper classifications and interests. For instance, I love video games, yet I hate playing sports games and prefer first person shooters. I enjoy bright colors, even the occasional bright yellow, except I hate the smell and taste of yellow bananas, they disgust me! Another simple thing about me is I love to read, but that can be broken down into many more complex categories. I love a book with a good story line and passion, but I’m not into reading Zane and other explicit authors. Erotic fiction is nice, but not my cup of tea…I’d rather of hints and pieces of romantic passion, not a full on freak’s come out a night session.

Over the years I’ve come to terms with who I am as a woman and realized there was something different about me. I’m artistic but I’m not running around with tattoos, eccentric clothing, and making a statement on purpose for people to realize I’m an artist. You can be an artist without being a walking canvas, it’s up to your discretion. I have a zest for the arts, yet my clothing style is casual laid back but also glamorous when I’m in the mood to have eyes on me (which I usually don’t care if people notice me or not). I’m always in my own world, even when I’m out and about. When I used to hang out with groups of girls (can’t stand doing that nowadays), the girls would always tell me this guy was looking, that guy is cute, he is trying to holla, etc. I noticed the men but I never paid it any mind, it’s not a big deal. If I was interested, I’d make the visible eye contact, but usually I’m so content in my own space I even forget why I came to the store.

I eventually want someone to love me for who I am, the shining star that never has a dull moment. My ambitions in life aren’t determined by the constraints of social approval, but they are fueled by the passions I’ve discovered in my alone time. When people often let me down with their false promises and foolish agenda’s, I get into my own space. A world where I’m happy writing, reading, playing video games, working out, and listening to house music. People always ask me what I’m into and I sit back, take a deep breathe, and prepare to tell them the script. “My name is Jazz. I’m a writer, an artist, a video game junkie, and I hate when a house songs ends and the room becomes silent.”

My personality isn’t an agenda filled with shallow concepts and goals. I’m not trying to be the next fabulous girl with a bold baller by my side. I’d prefer to be the classic Jasmine McGee, with a tall(prefer someone 6’1” and up) and strong man by my side, someone that can hold me close and tantalize me with intellectual doctrines. I don’t ask for a lot of things in a man, but height is something I’ve learned I can’t do without. While most women want a man that is built a certain way, has no kids, has a good job, nice car, certain amount of money, and is a pretty boy who can make her body feel insane, I only require that the man I’d date be tall and not height challenged (of course a nice smile and handsome face).  My dream man isn’t based upon delicate airbrushed pictures, but rather a reality. I want to fall in love with his brain before I fall in love with his body. Sounds weird to some, but it makes sense to me.

After everything I’ve been through with men and friendships with women, I’ve embraced the true beauty of who I am. My life may seem boring to some, but I enjoy the fact I have a life and I’m not in a cemetery. The cemetery is one of the richest places in the world because it’s filled with dreams that never had a chance to live…I don’t want to be another name on tombstone that lived a life filled with the voices of other people regarding what dreams are appropriate.

Life is too short to spend it trying to live up to the approval of people who don’t even know themselves. You have to learn how to be your own best friend and love yourself, before anyone else can come in and get to know the real you. There have only been a select few people outside my family who have ever attempted to get to know the real me, but once they realize I’m more than just a tall girl who knows how to make people laugh, they are caught off guard and abandon the mission. I don’t think people can ever really make you happy, unless you’ve already fulfilled a substantial amount of happiness within yourself that isn’t based upon the perception of the world.

I know who I am. I’m geeky,funny, bold, allergic to Penicillin,and a  house music junkie. Some days I wish I could be a superhero and some days I imagine that I’m in one of those 1930s classic movies, except instead of me being the house servant, I’m the fabulous leading lady wearing the gorgeous gowns and kissing the leading man who vows to kiss my soul and never let me go. Like I said, I’m simply complex. All I can do is be myself to the fullest and one day hope that I will find those select few people outside my family that can grasp the essence of my personality.

The day a man is able to have an intellectual conversation with me, pray together, and then watch Rocko’s Modern life for hours, followed by Always Sunny, and a round of video games…then I know I’ve found the man I’d be willing to commit to in a relationship.  Until that glorious day arrives, I’m going to continue my journey of loving myself and being the geeky yet artistic woman that my parent’s raised me to be. If being myself isn’t good enough for a world or some man’s opinion of what a dream woman is, then what else can I say? I’m just Jazz…