Category Archives: relationships/dating

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Goodbye Dating: I Don’t Want You, I Want Me, Myself & I

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I could sit here and write some overly-dramatic rant that nobody really cares about, yet I’d prefer to keep things short (yeah right, who am I kidding,) sweet, and oh so to the point. Trust me, there is a point here…one that is very RAW.

ThinkSoul25It’s 2014 and more than ever this year, I’m on my Wonder Woman mode. This 6ft Amazonian is putting things in gear to live the life she wants.

This year, I’m truly keeping calm and loving me, myself, and I. With graduate school (MA in Design) on my horizon, a new body (workout routine 5-7 days a week is paying off,) and a raw new look on relationships, I’m just totally in the mode of doing me. If it’s not about myself, my career, my dreams, my looks, or my satisfaction, then I don’t want to waste precious breath on it.

You see, in 2013 I tried really hard to put others before, specifically men that thought I was into, but then after careful consideration realized they just weren’t for me. Whether they lacked an ambitious career drive or lacking in the physical department (looks,  fitness, etc,) I just decided that in 2014 I won’t settle for lames. Continue reading

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Pure Bliss | Shy Girls – ‘When I Say I Love U (Saux Remix)’

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As of late I’ve been reflecting on the first time I fell in love and that incredible euphoric state of exploration of the heart, mind, body, and soul. Man, it’s so powerful…and it’s amazing how feelings like that never die.

It’s true, you never really forget your first love. Even if almost a decade has passed, they still haunt your dreams and tug at your heart. Continue reading

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Ask Me Out, it’s Not Rocket Science

jazzsooveritYou see the picture to the right? Yeah, that’s me and I took it the other day while lying down at the dance studio. I only had 3 hours of sleep within the past 30 hours and I was just so over it. Well apparently this picture doesn’t solemnly exemplify my sleepiness, but also it’s a great billboard for me saying “I’m so over it.” Over what you may ask. Well at this point I’m just kind of over this whole process of dating. Continue reading

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Brilliant Poetry x Visuals | ‘Girls Who Read’ by Mark Grist

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I love poetry. Not only do I love poetry, but I have great adoration and admiration for works that implement the conventions of prose and witty imagery to express simple topics, even dating.

In a brilliant performance, poet Mark Grist shares what he wants in a girl. While he loves tits and ass (who doesn’t,) remarkably the one trait he really looks for in a woman is a love for reading. Yes, he seeks a girl that reads. Continue reading

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OkCupid…More Like Ok, Really?

internet-dating-photoGood morning! I hope that everyone had a fabulous weekend. Do anything major exciting? Well, I didn’t. My weekend consisted of late night gym sessions, listening to house music, and watching Lethal Weapon. A great weekend in my book. Oh, and in the midst of my random chilling, I had over a dozen messages on OkCupid. That’s right, I have an online dating profile.

jazzylayingFor starters, meeting men isn’t really that hard to do. I’m always meeting guys in person, when I’m house dancing, and yes online via social networks and dating sites such as OkCupid. I’ve been off and on OkCupid for years, and it’s gotten to the point where I don’t even take it serious.  I mean, yes I do make sure I have my best pictures up and my profile is written true to who I am, but when it comes to meeting guys…I never take it so serious.

For instance, I have a date tonight with this guy I’ve been talking to for a week, (random fact: he’s into cosplay,) but I’m not sitting here stressing over whether or not it will be my next relationship; relationships aren’t really for me, I prefer casual dating. Luckily, he’s on the same page, so I shall get coffee, finally see Iron Man 3, and perhaps make yet another male friend; majority of my friends are guys.

On OkCupid, out of all the messages I get bombarded with on a daily basis consisting of the usual “you’re so beautiful” or “wow, you’re so sexy and tall,” it’s rare to actually find someone who catches my interest beyond flattery. Yes, I welcome the compliments (I receive online and in person,) but it takes more than jamming compliments down my throat to actively get to know me.

At least say you love house music…you’ll score some points. ;)

As a 22-year-old fresh out of college and living in the Washington, DC metropolitan, I’ve got lots of options when it comes to men. Age range is quite open, considering I tend to hang out with a lot of folks in their late twenties and mid thirties. But I suppose since OkCupid is essentially free, I have it up there for the illusive grand idea that one day someone could message me and we could maybe actually hit it off…not just hit and quit it like most of the guys seem to want nowadays.

The one thing that strikes me about online dating is the fact that people just don’t seem to really try anymore. But then again, should you have to try at dating and being nice? It should be natural, well at least, for me it’s natural. But seeing some of the ways guys harass me until I write them back (I’m a very selective replier) or start off with nice conversation, then ask me to come over their house for a drink (really, come on…really,) I’ve come to the conclusion that a lot of men on OkCupid don’t know how to approach a beautiful woman.

But I can’t just blame the men, I blame the women too. Somewhere in the chaos of OkCupid and messaging random women online, some of these men must have encountered women that were actually okay with going to a random guy’s house and hooking up for sex right off the back. How do I know? I’ve met females who have done that. Dangerous? Yes. And does it lower the standard? Yes, it absolutely does.

Just the other night I had this fairly nice looking Latino guy (I often tend to date Latin men and other races,) spend 20 minutes discussing house music and the UK. By far it was great conversation, but then he decided to start asking me out for a drink. He said, “There is no way I could let a woman as sexy as you get by this evening without having a drink with me.” Decent attempt, but I wasn’t in the mood. So I let him know I just didn’t feel like going out with him. He then said, “We don’t have to go out, come over my house I’ve got wine. I’d love to have a sexy woman like yourself over right now.” Wow, nice job at being subtle. After going back and forth for a few minutes and me telling him off that I’m not stupid enough to go to some random guy’s house, all he could say was “I’m not random, we’ve chatted 30 minutes…we are friends now lol.” Ignored him, moved on.

Some men who aren’t mature enough to realize that each woman has different standards, take their past experiences/interactions with women who easily put out or are overly sexualized, and distribute this ideology to women like myself. Thus, the messages I get and the lame attempts at persuading me to hook up are simply just something they’ve come way too familiar with, and somewhere down the line one (or maybe a few) women said it was okay. Well for me, it’s NOT.

Now, you may be saying to yourself “if it’s so negative, then why do you stay on the site?” Well, I suppose somewhere down the line it’s become just another social media website instead of something I use for active dating. I mingle with guys, and sometimes I get messages from men who actually are artistic and catch my eye, leading to a date and a decent friendship. So in the same way that these men just don’t take it serious anymore and just want to get a quick fix, I do the same; my fix isn’t sex, it’s finding suitable artsy/intellectual conversation.

Words turn me on like crazy, and if we’re talking about house…then I’m all ears. ;)

Stay tuned for more of my OkCupid rantings and ramblings. Have your own? Feel free to share! 

Jasmine

Twitter: @thinksoul25

Facebook: www.facebook.com/Jazei25

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Dating 101 | Sir, Quite Frankly I’m Bored

In moments of dire frustration with my current circumstances, I found myself craving an ounce (or even a pound) of stimulating conversation fueled by riveting unparalleled imagination. I’m not expecting anything of epic proportions (although that would make my day,) but when it comes to dating and interacting with men, I’d at least hope they’d be able to stimulate me, not just physically, but on a mental/personality level.

That doesn’t appear to be an outlandish request. Yet, as of late, with the exception of a select few, most of the men I’ve been encountering are so numb conversation wise. In the fashion of a robot, every word they seem to say it just another antiquated calculated response usually along the lines of an illusive “cool.” Which you’d hope could hold a deeper meaning, but it’s really just “cool, I don’t care about asking you a follow-up question.”

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Follow-up questions don’t have to be the lines of a soap-opera or a masterpiece play, but I’d at least love to feel that our conversation is engaging. But oh no, it’s too much “work” to take a few seconds to create an orb of communication that is original, innovative, and shows that you at least give a damn what I’m saying. And when you don’t engage or seem to have life, then quite frankly, you’re beginning to bore me to death…or damn near close to it!

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a lot to handle. By no means am I the demanding woman that you have to wine and dine with the finer things of life; not my style. However, in order for a man to captivate me and actually give him the time of day, he has to hold my interest personality wise. Make me laugh, make me laugh so hard to the point in which my cute little giggle turns into a snort (yes, that happens on occasion.) Prick my senses with witty sarcasm and dark humour; truly, I don’t mind. And if the only music you like to listen to and talk about is commercial hip-hop, then don’t even think you’ll actually score a first date with me. As much as I love music (not just house, but many genres,) I get bored super quick when someone has a limited passion (or desire to explore) for a diverse selection of music.

Don’t get me wrong, I love dating, I love exploring the different types of personalities of men out there, but I’m really getting sick of being bored. It’s like they aren’t even trying anymore! Apparently showering me with recycled compliments, faulty promises, and temporary chivalry (until they hit and quit,) is the motivation of most of these men I encounter.

Oh, and in Los Angeles it was an atrocity. Each guy I met while living in LA (I’m now back in Greater Washington, DC metropolitan,) were wannabe players that wished they could get the model chicks and busty starlets, but they didn’t have the money nor the looks to be on that level. Yet, they stepped to me with the same cocky attitude, recycled game, and the motivation for doing one thing; hitting it and quitting it.

I can’t tell you how many times I met a guy and within the first conversation (online and in person,) he started not hinting, but blatantly talking about the things he wanted to do with me and how getting to know me involved hooking up…right away. WOW, unbelievable! And not only was it hard to believe, but the conversation became so repetitive and boring. Over and over again I was approached with the same tactics, and now I’m at the point where talking about sex and flirting is just boring.

Alright, I take that back…slightly. Talking about sex and flirting isn’t boring, but it has to be done with someone that actually likes me, knows me, and we’ve reached that level. Right off the back isn’t “reaching that level and getting to know me.” No, no, no. That isn’t how it’s done; not in my book!

If you want to truly get to know me, excitement on exhilarating epic levels, and blow my mind, then engage me with personality, culture (if you love house music, my heart is yours,) and humour. I’ll never be bored with that momentum of raw creative thoughts flowing in the conversation, and in the end you’ll probably have a better chance of getting close to me…. ;)