If you know me, which you most likely don’t I’m not that popular, then you know that I am an absolute martial arts fanatic. Every since I was a young tyke, or whatever little humans are called, I’ve been obsessed with it, emulating asian men, watching them save their lady friend with the unmatched ability to snap kick someone in the face. I’m a fan always have been, always will be. I’ve watched some of the best films martial arts cinema has had to offer and then I’ve seen the other ones. You know the ones that weren’t so great.

One of those films is called High Kick Girl. Firstly, yes I know the name is great. A movie with a simple uncreative name like High Kick Girl is either going to be really good or really not good. Unfortunately, High kick girl is really not good.I had this thing I did for awhile that if I had some income to throw away I would blindly buy a martial arts flick hoping that I would love it  . I kung fu movie gambled with the risk of being sad for a night. It’s not the worst gamble to have actually. Usually the gamble pays off and I’ll find a movie like Kuro Obi, which is one of my favorite movies ever! Kuro Obi(Black Belt) is a movie drenched with the goo of absolute fantasticness! So I got High kick Girl hoping I’d hit the same plateau of grandness. Funnily enough most of the characters from Kuro Obi are on High Kick Girl; directed by one of the actors from Kuro Obi too, but you couldn’t get a more different quality from the two. It’s a little disorienting. It’s like finding out Bruce Lee loved crack and soccer kicked puppies. Try getting that image out of your head…Exactly!

High kick Girl herself is actually pretty awesome, at least to me. She’s a real life bad ass karate girl with okay acting chops and a hint of charisma, which is all you really need for a martial arts flick as long as the director keeps it interesting. You can honestly have the most ridiculous plot with the most ridiculous characters and make it work. I don’t care I just want to be entertained! In the end that’s what it’s really all about. The plot of this movie is about a girl who is a brown belt karate bad ass phenom who is trained by the best karate instructor around period. Let’s not delve deeper into that! This bad ass brown belt karate phenom travels around Japan(Not the whole country. I just don’t know japan that well) with her goofy male companion challenging Karate black belts from other schools and taking their belts.

So confident is she in her ability that she decides to join some elite martial arts gang whom just so happens to have a very large grudge against High Kick girl’s master. So they kidnap her with some of the worst choreographed fighting ever and hold her hostage at what looks like a high school gymnasium. So her Karate master(Super bad ass in real life) goes to the gym and engages in combat in some of the worst fight scenes I’ve ever seen. I don’t know exactly what makes a good fight scene, I just know that you shouldn’t be confused after it! A running theme of this movie was to constantly repeat a fight scene right after a fight scene, but in slow motion! No matter how simplistic and uninteresting the actual fight scene was, they were going to show that fight scene again. They were going to show the hell out of that fight scene! I think this probably made the move two hours longer than it should’ve been. In the end they win, they’re in a dojo, and the master tells her to cut her nonsense out, she walks away smiling, the end.

I probably didn’t explain that movie well, but the jist of it is that it’s not good, and that sucks because I wanted to love it. There are scenes I like. Some fight scenes aren’t that bad, and some of the characters could’ve actually been really cool. Any movie that has a Gi is already a step ahead in the game of life if you ask me, but you didn’t, and I could be absolutely wrong, and there’s a good chance I’m in the minority. I don’t know how the High Kick Girl fandom works. So watch it and judge for yourself.

Also I still watch the movie on occasion to make sure I don’t like it. I still don’t like it after the fourth viewing, but I dislike it less than the other three times! If anything she’ll make you want to kick stuff. That’s a good enough reason to watch anything.