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Awesomesauce: Spending the Day with Mom

I don’t many mothers that have “This Is How We Do It” as their ringtone and callertune. I also don’t know many moms who love talking about their days at the “disco” and funking it up to oldschool jams on a daily basis. Even when my mom isn’t funking it up to old school and poppin’ (she used to be an old school b-girl back in the day,) then most likely she is giving hilarious commentary on simple things. No moment with her is ever dull, especially when we hang out together and just don’t care what anyone thinks.

I mean last week we were at Shoppers and had a conversation about this loaf of bread and how hard it was. I totally told her that you could beat someone to death with the bread. We then discussed how the scene would go down and that the bread was a contender for a weapon of self defense. Seriously, that bread was insanely hard, ungodly even. But of course it’s not proper social protocol to discuss beat downs using bread, which explains why the people around us were staying all weird when I started being goofy and shaking the bread I was threatening an imaginary stranger….yeah, I’m weird.

If you think going to the grocery store is a series of potential mishaps and hilarious antics, then you should see us at Barnes & Noble. It’s quite epic, borderline legendary if I may so say. We always end up spending hours in the store providing hilarious commentary on titles, which then leads to eavesdroppers cracking up and joining our conversation. I can’t begin to tell you how many times my mom and I have been off in our own world, then all of a sudden are random bystanders starts laughing. We usually just keep going on about our business and randomly include them in the conversation.

Today’s random bystander happened to be this old guy who was cracking up at my commentary of this book I found. My mom and I perused the bargain section, and in the midst of all gazing, I ran across this book The Guide for Guys. Dude, this book actually has a compass built in it! Which is what I said out loud and the guy next to me started laughing. So I was like, “Hey, check out this book.” I handed the book to my mom and she began laughing. The 1940s vibe of the artwork is what made it such a great book. The guy then jumped in and said, “Boy, I’d like to hear your opinion on that book. Men are so simple. Boobs and gadgets, that’s all they care about.” We both began laughing and I was like, “Yup, all you need are boobies and gadgets, so this guide is a waste of time. But it does have a compass!” Then he discussed how he preferred science books, and then my mom and him began discussing science while I wondered off towards this book called Made in America.

Cracking up at the title of some of these books and board games we saw are what made the experience such a blast. We have such blunt commentary and are unforgiving in our approach to life. Out of all the things we found though, I will have to see the board game section was a delight! I totally should have bought that game above, but I think I’d probably laugh myself into a coma. It’s rare that I ever laugh super hard, but the other day I almost died watching this YouTube clip of a man falling up an escalator. I know it was wrong to laugh, but I don’t think he got hurt. He just liked changed his mind, but it was too late…the escalator was already going up. To make things worse, he holds onto the handrail the entire time. HAHAHA, classic! When I first saw it tears went strolling down my eyes and my mom was cracking up. I almost laughed myself into a coma. It was an epic moment.

The power of YouTube is amazing. The only reason I ran across the old man was because I told my mom( she’s anemic) that she needed to get her stuff together and start taking her vitamins. I told her that if she didn’t, she was going to end up like Mr. Glass from Unbreakable. She burst into laughter and then brought up the scene from the movie where Samuel Jackson falls down that long flight of stairs and breaks. That was such a sad scene in that movie, but man Samuel Jackson should have taken them steps a little slower. SMH….a hot mess. That dude actually broke into pieces! So I told her she needed to take her vitamins and get her muscle strong so she didn’t break; conversation lead to watching the scene on YouTube and then seeing the old man fall. Random, right?

Ah, I could go on and on about the random things my mom and I do, see, and say. It’s truly awesomesauce spending time with her and just enjoying life. There isn’t any gullible tomfoolery, no mother-daughter rivalry like Mike Epps says, and there isn’t any boundaries. She tells me about her days at the disco, and I can candidly express my opinions on anything and everything. It’s such a great time bounding with her, and I cherish every random moment we freak people out in public. Man, it’s awesome making people uncomfortable with our blatant humor and confidence. Ah, good times….

Such a serious scene, but it was so hilarious. Now I always remind my mom that if she doesn’t take her vitamins for her anemia, then she gonna end up like Mr. Glass. So she laughs really hard and rushes to go take her vitamins and says, “I ain’t made of glass!”

Hilarious video of man falling up escalator. Seriously, I laughed insanely hard when I first saw this. I think the guy didn’t get hurt, but it’s like dude what happened? It’s like he changed his mind and decided not to go up, but it was too late.

Lol. Glad me and my mom aren’t like that.

©Jasmine McGee.ThinkSoul25. http://thinksoul25.com

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